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its Just me & my thOughts.. walking Side by side.. on the Sandy beach.

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SeEking my Polaris

Friday, October 28, 2005
Fastball
The angel and demon are raging in my mind again.
Im not crazy;
Im just a little unwell

Sometimes I feel Like
I am drunk behind the wheel
The wheel of possibility

Was I out of my head?
Was I out of my mind?
How could I have ever been so blind?
I was waiting for an indication
It was hard to find

I think it will be okay
I just dunno when.

What the hell is wrong with me??
:s
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Chew it
From eG forum.. Read.Chew.Discuss.
If one goes to a quality foodhall in Japan it is not unusual to see more than 5 different varieties of the same cut, with Matzuzaka Beef usually being the highest grade, but there are instances when they have a premium beef labelled by an individual breeder/Farm. Kobe Beef is usually one notch below and there are usually a couple of other regional labels and some imported beef.
When I took people from overseas shopping they were surprised that it could take me 5-10 minutes to decide what to buy(cut was decided prior to shopping, decision was on which of the varieties within that cut to buy). Although Matzuzaka Beef is generally the highest ranked beef, the best quality I usually had was Saga Beef (Saga is a prefecture in southermost Japan). I don't know if the Beef is generally of better quality than Matzuzaka or because my in-laws had very good connection with a supplier but that was generally the best quality beef I had.
When I lived in Japan whenever we had overseas visitors we used to serve Saga Beef Teppanyaki style in our house there and they all uniformly agreed that it was the best steak that they ever had. (We usually served it with Fugu Sashimi so that our guests would get the two most famous Japanese ingredients in one meal). This was not a compliment on my wifes cooking ability but on the quality of the ingredients.The best steak I ever had though was a few months back in Southern Japan.
My in-laws took me to a steak-house where I had a Kagoshima Beef Sirloin that was the most beatifully marbled, most incredible tasting piece of meat I have ever had. I don't know if Kagoshima Beef generally achieves that level of quality, but it's a must on my next trip. There are a couple of other regional labels that I have tried like Sanda Beef, Yamagata Beef etc that does not achieve the same quality as the others.
Then there is Mishima Gyu, which comes from a small island where only 20 cows are slaughtered a year. I have never had it, I don't know what it costs but I have decided that I will eat it one day no matter what the cost is.
The variety of beef available in Japan is astonishing, and it is in my opinion a better country for beef than the US. The beef is usually more exepensive than in the US, but prices have stood still/dropped the last few years in Japan and the difference is not as large as it used to be (Tokyo is not as expensive as it's reputation any more).
I have always thought that
Kobe Beef is IT already.... The 'Real' Stuff!
How wrong was I?!
Now... Can i go Japan or what??!!!
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Given
The drinks have been flowing freely into my life lately.
Chilled Baileys at the comfort of my home;
Wine at sister's place;
and the non stop chill-outs.

Tell you a secret ok...
drinking moderately is really very shiok leh.
my mood is often relaxed;
and am quite nonchalent about the troubles in life.
i dont drink to drown my sorrows;
because i believed they will convert into tears;
that falls easily..

Sunday night was spent at Holland Village;
watching a not-so-hot-favourite soccer match
between Newcastle & Sunderland
but it turned out to be fabulouS!
The exciting match ended with a 3-2 win to Toons.
But i dont see no 'Santiego Munez' from GOAL! ;p
Dinner was good, drinks were good.
and we got away with a un-asked for discount at the pub.

The idea suddenly popped up
that we should go Ice Cold beer yesterday.
& So we went; @ 930pm.
By the time everyone got around, it was already 10pm.
Had our Asahis… pizzas and wings; Made abit of small talks;
Watched an ang moh playing really good pool;
Played some 5-tens; And the party is over at 1130pm.
Abit shOrt right?
Haa… pardon me;
For I have joined the Night Cat Club not too long ago.

So we took some time & went for a car wash;
Then drove back leisurely.
Drinks helped me to sleep betta;
Insomnia didnt dare visit me last night.

Come friday... we shall see :)


Thought of the day...

' Whatever you can give, you have already given me..
I shouldnt sulk over what you cant give me
But be contented with what was already given'

woah~
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
pizza for frns
Tomorrow night am meeting a girlfriend for pizza.
She seemed distant recently
and needed to talk to someone
So, here I am, availing myself.
funny how she would suggest pizza!
Thought pizza is a guys thing..
But then again, many years back when I was still in school
I was once hooked on the pizza hut buffet shite
wisma was my fav outlet.. cos got the freshest out-of-oven-pizzas
now closed down already.. :(
but i wld really wanna try the S-pizza for friends;
heard its really nice wor.

I think counseling stuff intrigues me…
Erm… I am dreaming about pursuing this dream
My good friend signed me up for a depression forum
She say she wanna learn for herself and others
Come to think of it..
Recently I think she looks abit depressed
Dunno how to start to talk to her yet

I am pretty happy to share others problems
It seemed like I would focus lesser on my own
& I wld stop thinking about the worst all the time
it works wonder really.
And probably cos im a born KPO.
When something is not right with the world
I will fight it

Tada....!
Here comes, PowerPuff Gal.
Monday, October 24, 2005
rollz eyes
Sweet and demure friend told me that
she regrets getting ROM 2 years ago.
She told me that she was conned by her hubby
since she is at a sweet tender age of 20.
Went through 6 years of courtship..
And when routine struck,
they got registered as a married couple.
Now, she dreads to go through the customary
She says, starting the proper married life will definitely kill her
Kill her freedom and enjoyment of being carefree now

Seemed like her hubby has no social circle of his own.
And often comment that she is spending too much time with friends.
Very unlike a married lady.. She nearly flipped okay.

Well.. I nearly flipped too.
Then I jokingly suggest that she should dispose off her hubby.
She readily agrees, and asked me to go seduce him.
Aiyo.. how can?

... do we often fall into the traps of having such regrets in life?
i still think that marriage is a damn scary commitment.
:s
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Insomnia, and so it goes..
a friend has begin writing insights in life..
about his inner man;
his observations about life.
and he actually emailed them & share with a few friends..
me included.
i know he has been pretty messed up before,
last year, it seemed he has came back from the wild side;
a sudden revival
though the depression streak is still within him
he has now gotten a new form of release - writing furiously.
instead of wallowing in sad songs & self-pity
and he is somehow very open about his thoughts,
even the wicked ones.
sometimes the line is blurred,
of those he wrote.
i dunno what is fictional; and what is not.
like he told me he dont do booze anymore
yet sometimes,
he wrote that he had too much booze over the weekends again
i dont really care
as long as he writes those good stuff..
at times, reading it beats listening to pounding hard trance.

now, does all these matters?
it does not.
in fact, sometimes we like to blog about things that doesnt matter.
the most important things are kept within our hearts
i cant blog about my daily life events all the time;
about the number of times i farted
very soon
i will get sick of it.
so this blog is huge on my random thoughts
some of the stuff
i have not even consider telling anyone
its like you cant just start a reflective t& weighty topic out of nowhere;
people, sometimes do not listen hard enough
my blog, it will always be faithful
it will always belong to me
my share of voice will always be the loudest
there is a possessive streak within everyone of us, no?

Recently,
i hv been learning the art of letting go of things that matters to me.
i want to start like a fresh piece of paper
a fresh patch of sand that the waves have just washed through
I, just wanna be me.
Monday, October 17, 2005
pain & paint
I have learnt that..

the more junk you eat during pms
the more severe the cramp is when it arrives

damn.

I'm going for the Tactical Action Game (TAG) Paintball Challenge sometime in Nov..
TAG Paintball is a war game played in an open terrain with hugh drums and pallet-like panels placed strategically to be used as covers from flying colour bullets. Each team comprises maximum of 5 persons and the objective of the game is to eliminate your enemies by completing the mission.

The standard equipments supplied by TAG which comprises Gun (2.2kg when fully loaded, can reach maximum range of 20 metres), protective full-face mask and body vest.

Since this is an exciting outdoor game that requires physical exertion, those with the following medical conditions are advised not to participate in the Game.

1. Pregnancy
2. Weak Neck & Back
3. Recent surgery
4. Broken bones
5. Heart Conditions
6. Nervous Disorders

I am risking all of the above conditions except for 1, 3 & 4.

This is the bait.. It better be good~ ;p


p/s: actually... i signed up before knowing the prizes.
Go for glory~ I very sporting right?
MUESLIS
Uncle Toby’s chewy Muesli bars still taste great
Blueberry & Cherry flavour
Those are my quick meals when I was in Perth
Waking up too late for lectures;
sneaking a quick lunch inbetween interchanging computer labs
to catch up on my emails and icq with friends.
Took a bite into one of those this morning,
makes everything feels like Perth again!

Don’t you think weekends always have
their own unique equation of time?
Its like 60 secs = 1 hr that kinda feel
A two hours show that doesn’t feel like solid two hours
Am I missing something?
Everything just whizzed past me..
Had a good catch up on sleep yesterday night
I am simply exhausted
And I think I dreamt of you

Uncle Toby’s chewy Muesli Bars
They give me energy;
Even though I scalded my thumb this morning
Lousy.
Friday, October 14, 2005
silly me
sometimes i wonder..
was it a make-believe
to make everything seemed okay?
and things appear more happy than they shld be?
like.. you dont want me to be sullen,
you just want to make me happy.
it was very sweet.. really.
a sweet ride.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
:s
The sudden feeling of stress
washed all over me at 5pm yesterday
It was nearing to the end of the work day;
But I looked at the series of projects
waiting for me to follow up till december
suddenly I cant breathe

The emails, the print out samples, the site maps, the proposals
Are all happily sneering at me.
Ironically, I planned and I created all of them
to be executed from scratched.
And hell,
It landed me in a tunnel where I see no light at the end.
I so feel like screaming.

And the night I wanted red wine
But chardonnay was served
And it is white
Freaking white.
I ordered the Asian Platter
But no Asian Platter came
The service personnel forgot to key in that order
though he loudly repeated it when we placed the order.
Shite

I spent twice the price having Al dente pasta in the end.
I craved mah.

Welcome to the PMS club.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
隐形人
无论你肯或不肯
我都选择等

你不许我听信永恒
不许我迷信我们
不许我奋不顾身

我想化成隐形的人
隐藏我的泪在翻滚

so nice... this new yanzi song.
i think it will become popular very fast.
I realized,
its abit lame to talk about my relationship problems
all the time.
They are just problems that will exist permanently.
In fact, sometimes all I need is a drink to clear my mind.
or God.
To feel less warped inside.
& So, I have decided to give it a rest.

I signed up for Hip Hop Dance class the other day with so much enthusiasm,
But hell, the Admin person in charge only took down my contacts,
Apparently, the class will only be functional
if there are more than 12 students.
It’s a Sunday evening class.
I suspect most people would prefer to be a couch potato
instead of prancing around like a monkey
& I suspect I wont have left over energy on weekdays
to do the suave moves

This is lousy.



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Tuesday, October 11, 2005
albums
i dunno where the hell my friend got the brand new 燕资 album
'完美的一天' in MP3s!!
whole album arite!
so now that puts me in a delimma..
should i buy the original one?!
yUcks.. i hate to be put on a spot like that.

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then hor... he go and sent me 陶子... then 张栋梁... whole album.
he want me to kana check by the officials is it?
Monday, October 10, 2005
In the midst...
Of a hectic and stress-filled workday
Breathing the fresh air instead of stale air in the office;
Taking a walk;
Looking at swaying trees and the greens;
Feeling the sunshine on my face;
Food to satisfy the empty stomach;
Indulging in casual talk;
Putting behind the fire fighting at work;
A momentary relaxation...

Lunches always do me good.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
太执著是我。

被爱真的是幸福吗?
Thursday, October 06, 2005
abt my likings
i think im those very back to basic gal..

i hv a few favourite tops..
3 fav jeans
2 fav shorts
3 or 4 favourite tees
recently.. i added three-quarters to my wardrobe
i hv 2 favs now.

guess im not a shopaholic person.. but when i feel like buying i will still buy
just to satisfy my retail therapy needs, i will flaunt the new loot for a couple of times
till i tucked them deep into the wardrobe, nowhere to be found
then i will still stick to my few fav tops, fav jeans, fav shorts and fav tees
thats why.. i always hv trouble finding things to wear for a special occasion.
my wardrobe are often made up of basics,
stuff that i know will not just last for an occasion.
funny how, i dun seemed to miss the new stuff i added;
until the old ones really looked run down and my mum suggest they should go inside the bin.
or i will hv a couple of favs of the moment.. and i will keep wearing them for a period of time.

the same goes with CDs..
i will eagerly hunt for the latest CD that i sooooooo want
after buying them & listening to them a couple of times
those that i termed 'song of the moment'
afterwhich.. i will discard them in my CD holder
i realised i still prefer listening to my old CDs over & over again..
those that are tried and tested to my liking
not so much of a risk-taker eh?
but i'd rather think that i hv my own style and ways
im pretty hardcore on certain things
if i like you, it means i like you.
i'd never bother to check blindspots.
tsk tsk.
Blissful~
On 2 days of rest.. really good rest..
yest i slept from 12pm to almost 5pm.. then i woke up for dinner
thot i wun be sleep so much again as i forsake the drowsy flu medi for the evening..
decided to leave it for the night..
god knows.. i slept again at 7-ish pm..
right till 11pm! i missed an appt for a movie unknowingly.. sorray~
& after i gobbled down some nice bread plus medi
i was into blissful sleep again...
this morning i woke up at 9am :))

though i was down with flu and sorethroat,
and according to the docter, a fever is comin up..
but i was alert enough to feel hungry, to talk and to play w those lil kids..
very unlike me. sleep, find food; sleep, find food; sleep find food!

Health seemed to be on the okay side nowadayz and i finally can get a taste of what is '小病是福'.
Migraine seemed to bade me farewell as the erratic weather has no effect on me anymOre~
sad to say im no longer a walking weather forecaster.. hmpf~

Next up, i will do an experiment on my 'cheese-trigger'.
shall tucked into half a dozen of baked cheese oysters & wait to see the result the next dae..
i hope my migraine will be buried under the sea once & for all!
i believe in the healing power of God.
Do you?

AND! 2nd oct is one of my 好姐妹's big day... yupz.
she is one of the few primary school friend that im still in contact till now.
she just moved into the 18th floor of my flat! OMG!
so that means~ we are neighbours!!!
was fun to be her jie mei on that day as her bridegroom is a damn good sport!
he readily took on all our challenges and his 好哥们 also helped him out.
just imagine doing many many push ups in a whole suit.. many guys would cringed at that.
he ignore the sweat and was gamed to croon a love song to the bride after all the toil~
i salute him lor.. can sense his sincerity in getting the bride.
had a really good time & the best part is,
we feel quite loaded with red packets after the whole day.
Can see they really appreciate our help as jie mei~
of cos, all these money will go into the red packet for the couples later
we DONT keep a single cent ok.

Trust me, Gals are jus suckers for guys who are willing to go an extra mile for them.
thats why we always wooooo and ahhhh over dramas when the actor sacrifice alot for the lead actress. when your big day come, dun stinge on your moves.
Make it a grand entrance and of cos, a memorable one.

Ah... happiness is so.


~*~

And I love you so
The people ask me how
How I've lived till now
I tell them I don't know
I guess they understand
How lonely life has been
But life began again
The day you took my hand

And yes, I know how lonely life can be
The shadows follow me & the night won't set me free
But I don't let the evening get me down
Now that you're around me
Monday, October 03, 2005
My dayz
some days i am happy;

some days i am not.

some days.. are like the rain falling on a muddy palette;
they end up messier than i can handle

some days they confused me;
like a broken record.. that goes round and round;
drowning me with that irritating sound

some days i just wanna lie down;
and watch the world goes by...

some days..
i simply wish they never got started~
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