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its Just me & my thOughts.. walking Side by side.. on the Sandy beach.

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SeEking my Polaris

Friday, September 30, 2005
You're Beautiful
very nice song that im replaying on my phone's MP3 player.. over & over & over again.
Blunt has a very nice way of presenting it.. soulful.. and powerful but with a light tinge of jest. I love the part that i have bold ;p

Till now, im still wondering how to see from a person's face [on a subway, or across a crowded room] that he is 'fucking high'...
dun get me wrong, its the way james blunt sang that part.. he really sounded higggggghhh.
dont believe? Have a listen closely!

James Blunt - You're Beautiful

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that, 'Cause I've got a plan.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.

I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do, 'Cause I'll never be with you.
Yeah, she caught my eye, As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was, Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.

There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth, I will never be with you.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
sea & mount
Saw some really good photos for a Mt KK trip. Blew me away.
Come to think if it.. have never tried mountain climbing before,
except our dear Bt Timah Hill of course.. which doesn’t count in my opinion.
Because Im frigging scared of height & always chicken out cos of my weak stamina.
Besides, sweating like a pig doesn’t really suit my idea of relaxation.
Climbing the mountain of work I have each day already shag me out like nobody’s business.
Hell ya, work is abit tough these days.
A cuppa at McCafe after lunch; plus people watching helps... :)

A little bit of excitement today! Just gotten my Sibu snorkeling fotos from colleague, so, this series of photos are of the sea & the mounts… haa.. how appropriate!

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Thank you for the understanding extended these days..
like 2 persons starting all over again to know each other;
the many facades of us.

失去了, 才懂得珍惜.

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Wednesday, September 28, 2005
I have been stuffing myself with lotsa heaty food these days.

Just over the weekends – BBQ sting ray, carrot cake, satay, BBQ chicken wings, char kuay teow, tom yum soup, KFC, tibits [lots of it]. Then sorethroat was kinda killing me on Monday night.. I had Baby ribs for dinner, not that heaty right?

Tues.. I reminded myself that i had better drank lotsa starfruit juice [fresh ones as well as bottled ones]. Then was invited along with another department to Prima revolving restaurant to have a very sumptuous lunch. Abalone, sharks fin soup, crab, prawns, scallop, peking duck, Soon Hock [it’s a type of fish by the way] etc etc… their dishes are cooked in quite a unique way.. I wouldn’t say it taste very very good, but its really different style from the normal Chinese restaurants. There were also some excited & squirming tourists from Europe, and they got so excited that everyone rushed to the dropped down window to take photos. Cold feet! We were so worried that their big frames all added together (20 plus of them) will tilt the restuarant to one side. Seriously ok, this is no joke.. Might become the Leaning Tower of Prima. haahaaa~

The supposedly famous revolving restaurant is making my head giddy as I try not to stare too hard at the tables; the floor; or the harbour/cable car view outside. Very difficult ok, have to look at my colleagues face all the time. By the 6th dish, we are all stuffing the food inside us & still pretending to enjoy it. Its really filling. Thanks to the generous director, the lunch cost us, the company I mean, close to $700 bucks + a 3-hours lunch. OMG, Priceless.

Managed to endure the rest of the day and even met my friend for a cuppa. Stupid fever came at night. Hot Cold, Hot Cold... cannot tahan. I popped 2 pills and tried to sleep after watching Stairways to Heaven. yes zol zol, im a fan too! & you r right by saying that you dont missed much even after skipping the show for a few weeks.

GUesss What? This morning, I woke up feeling like NO sorethroat & no fever. Woah! Though the weather is erractic and cold.. I feel fine wor. I almost couldn’t believed that I was cured just like that. I thought I wont be let off so easily especially now the dengue thingy is going on. Hee… mux be all the good food that im stuffing myself with. Tsk tsk.
At least im working hard on my secret wish of gaining another 5kg.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Mon Ramblings
Am getting my head all buried under work since morning..
it has nothing to do with Mondays.
But approaching year end always make people in Marketing jobs busy like hell..
don’t asked me why.
Different industries but same applications.
Maybe 1 day I will get really sick of it all. But maybe not, as the learning curve is always different each time. ArGh.. I have a love-hate relationship for the work that I do. I hate the stress and deadlines, but it’s the stress that gets me going.
Not difficult to identify with me, right?

Just when I was very engrossed in all of the rat race.
Something captured my attention out of the speaker.

‘You asked me if I love you, and I choked on my reply..
I would rather hurt you honestly than to mislead you with a lie…’

Very oldie but still an all time favourite.
That happens when you can always relate to some parts of a song.
Awake the hidden sentiments in you.

Caught the Lords of Dogtown over the weekends. it’s a true story film based on skateboarding.
I think hardcore skateboarders or punks will really love the show.
Its simple.. but it is not less skimpy in dishing out a rich story line looking at the lives of 3 boys getting their fame through skateboarding. Friendship, fame, love, choice of routes in life.
Simple and digestible. Ya, have to admit that i was influenced by the ex for liking some of these extreme stuff. Not for the dainty, arty hearted. Its hardcore!
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these are taken on fri.. amazed at how we can talk non stop.. and am very entertained by the usual expressive n dramatic zol. Face it, we need talkative pple among our midst :)
Soo bought a Xiao Ding Dang with those giddy look [you know, with X X as the eyes & tongue sticking out] he wants to hang it on his ceiling fan... so Doremon will go spinning rOund & round. OMG.. e.s.
k.. i promiSed i will diligently go through the photoshop tutorial to learn about putting captions nicely on photos.. these look soooo ugly!!! But heck it :)
Saturday, September 24, 2005
chilling Out
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some memories from sungei buloh wetland reserve that has been sitting in my comp.
and its your turn to see what i mean when i said it is almOst untouched.
very nature; very beauty

indulge in the moment of your life
maybe i will wake up very soon...
like tomorrow.
but while the going is good;
do not distract me.

how many bottles of bacardi breezer do you have to whack before you get drunk with only 5% alcoholic content?

i love the drink. Lime; orange; peach; cranberry flavour...
My sweet tooth has found another best friend.

and i think i can whack alot.
Friday, September 23, 2005
thOse drifting thots
Probably its just me.
I cant seemed to accept the stagnancy in life;
I detest stability.
Long straight flowing streams are often meaningless to me
Recently, I had a peep at the flip side of my perspective
Feeding my innate desires time to time
Less thinking, More doing
& surprise, surprise;
It gives me a sense of liberation

That day I was still feeling happy about life.
It may seemed everything is in placed
But are they really?

I called a long time friend up
Felt someone would understand the things I had inside of me but those of which I couldnt articulate in words
But seemed time has its own way of defining what I thought was a connection.
It didn’t happened.
I hung up after 30 seconds.

There will always be a distant look in my eyes
Night time will never fail to break free my sentiments
& I will always be the gal with a broken smile
Yet this life, shall not be in vain.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
My Reckless Mind




Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Like an unwanted stuffed toy slammed into the wall..
I feel seething exasperations within me.
I think I need to go walk in the park again. Be alone.
To enjoy the warm sunshine pouring down generously onto my face.
Or cupped a glass of baileys and stoned in a manner that’s oblivious to what is going on around me.

I know these things will calm me down.
And make me breathe easy again.

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Monday, September 19, 2005
sweet sweet celebration~
Mid Autumn Festival celebration w family. sweet~
Who cares if the moon wasnt bright & shining enough last night?
Saw fireworks from the balcony of my sis’s new house.. it is directly facing the Chinese Garden~ and that got everyone excited! Sipping wine and having mooncakes & frozen watermelon cubes have never been such a chill enjoyment. Instead of Chivas Regal 12, we had Chivas 18, the fact that it has been in the wine cellar 6 more years means it is able to fetch a higher price, but heck lor.. drink it up!

By the end of the night, I was a bit tipsy and was pretty fast asleep the minute my head touched my pillow when I got home.

Sometimes we really don’t need much to be happy.

A smile, a touch, a hug?
Knowing that the someone out there is getting on fine with life
That you will always remember each other at some point in time
When your hands are gripped tightly; an understanding embrace
Somehow you know time will never play a part in determining the depth of some relationships.

My family, my friends, I love you all.

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Thursday, September 15, 2005
Been rolled over by a 10 ton truck?
Dunno why always feel so blardy tired in the afternoon, though I wake up feeling fresh as a tart every morning. Time to throw out my contact lens, or my fringe, or computer!
Everything looks like a bluuuuurrrr…

The meet up with the gals was usual chatty and fun. Just a teeny bit out of steam I thought as I feel some distance between those who didn’t join as often. The group was big, so it was tough to make any decent talks. And my suggestion to wee wee was, next time such big group we go for a drink! Yea, cos its like more fun to just drink and be merry in big groups. Then make a total fool of ourselves. I will like that :) maybe im just weird.

Im so proud of myself that I cleaned and packed up my room yest, finished the half done job pending since August! Its unlike me ok, was abit out of sort since Monday night, maybe tired due to pms.. Yes, if you are not aware by now, hormones change does require burning of energy and results in lethargy. My mentality is a bit warped now.. something has drowned my senses, like im free-falling now, I know I love every moment, every bit, every pulsation of the freedom but I don’t know where I will be landing eventually. Would you catch me if I fall?

Suddenly feel a tad of emptiness, nah, not the brooding over loneliness sort.
But like im trying to look forward to the next trip overseas and I cant seemed to picture one in the next 3 months. Im like so hungry every moment of the day, gobbled down a bowl of instant noodles before I slept last night. Now im craving for tao suan..-_-
& don’t ask me what’s the relation la..
I can only give you a blank look.


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Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Sibu escapade
Am amazed that Sibu islands have such clear and nice beaches.
Totally relaxing, totally calm, totally affordable.
The only drawback is the long hours of traveling!1 hr of traveling to JB – that depends on how bad the causeway Jam is. PLUS 2.5 hours of traveling to a jetty dunno what inside JB. The long winding roads with rows of palm trees plantations fooled us into thinking that the jetty is built on a highway or something. We couldn’t even smell the sea for the longest time! PLUS another 45mins ferry ride; open concept, MUST wear life jacket onboard, if-you-die-then-too-bad type of ferry to Sibu Islands.

Shall let the photos speak for themselves.. 2D1N seemed like a very good break for me. Came back feeling fresh and recharged. Distracted me from how shitty I was feeling before the trip. I really owed it to the snorkeling we had on sun morning. Many might not know that I hv a deep phobia of the ocean. I love to sit by the beach and watch sunset, hear the waves crashing onto the beach. But that’s how far im willing to go in my relationship with the great ocean. Im scared ok. Thinking what lies beneath always paralyses me with fears. So there you go, I went and I did it. I don the life jacket, grabbed the snorkel, and swam deep deep out into the sea. Haa.. like real! Of cos im abit apprehensive at first, but the love of nature over took me pretty soon. I had the time of my life looking at beauuuutiful corals, colourful fishes.. and deep gorges.
I felt like a brave gal once again. It also made me realized that im just a tiny speck of dust on this magnificent earth.

This is sooooo good.

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Friday, September 09, 2005
shoes.. not literally
Heh You know?
Bring stuck in a wrong relationship is sometimes like wearing shoes that doesn’t fit. You tried to squeeze your one size bigger feet into these pretty looking pink shoes. You paraded them proudly for a while.. refusing to take them off even when yr toes started to hurt abit. Finally, you reluctantly take it off for a mere 5 mins, and stretch your toes for a while. And hurriedly put the one size smaller pretty shoes back on again. You are too comfortable with it and too worried about not finding another nice pair looking shoes.
Years later, your feet has changed into an abnormally weird shape.. moulded by the shoes. There were blisters marks all over your feet. Some were healed; some are still fresh. The scars reminded you of the pain you went through to wear the pretty shoes. And you tell yourself that, heck, I have been through so much, I will not give these pretty shoes up.
And the torment goes on.
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~a walk in the park + i get to drink my baileys :)
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
060905 nite
I had my good sleep.
Blissful & dreamless after a good ‘catching-up’ dinner at fish & co. I think their standard dipped quite a bit? The peri peri prawns [im a loyal fan of it!] are not as fresh n juicy.. Rice that came with it has some lumps in them.

I called for the bill a 2nd time after waiting for 10mins and told the waitress that ‘This is the 2nd time im asking this, can I have the bill pleaseee?’ with the sternest look I can muster. Actually hor, I was jus trying out whether it would work or not, friend say im so mean.. but commented that she waited very long for her bill the last time she was here. Within the next minute, the bill was brought to us by the manager along with *secret things in his palm*. He was like holding the things in his palm and doing the action of wanting to pass something to me. I couldn’t see what he was holding at all and he didn’t even mention what they are. As a cooperative citizen, I held out my hand and he dropped the things onto my palms and said something like…

Mints for you all!’ with the brightest smile.

Wooow yeah! Mints! So much for being secretive about mints! Thank you Sooooo much! I sooooo love them mints, you are a wonderful saviour! MINTSSSSSSSS! Can you believe it?? MINTS. Ok, im being mean again.

Was talking to friend about us digging our own holes in many situations.
Sometimes we jumped into a hole.. we got out and we jumped into another hole not too long after. Sometimes when we are in a hole, we refused to get out, we start digging even deeper.
That’s how we ended up in shite hole all the time.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Im totally concussed
Over-worked.. over-played.. over-committed
I so nearly killed myself
My white flag is raised high up this time
Anything… anything for a Baileys on the rock and a sound 9 hrs sleep.
Sun w moon
Just a photo blog..
had a superb sumptuous dinner yesterday.. ‘maid’ received bonus and she generously agreed to give us a treat to this pretty posh Japanese restaurant. Excellent ambience with pure white winter-sonata-look-alike trees. Excellent food especially their appetizers -salmon avocado still makes me drool till now! Sun Salad came in a long glass bottle and the waitress had to shake it with all her might and the simple mixture turned out to be fresh, crisp and very delectable. More updates on my ex company were given by maid, Holy molly!.. the MD’s daughter is gonna join their team and everyone is feeling edgy now cos nobody is sure how things will turn out. She could be a stuck-up BB or a goody girl next door.
Nobody knows… *shivers*

P/s: Sun @ Wheelock Place is totally recommended for good Japanese food that makes you sleepless~
pp/s: wanna know how a metrosexual guy with trimmed eyebrow looks like? see below ;p
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Friday, September 02, 2005
How to be
I'm so terribly afraid of my mobile landing in an out of battery situation. Its just plain insecurity within me. But silly me still charged my mobile faithfully every night and constantly glanced at the power bar throughout the day.

I got new manicure done.. and it just pleases me every time I look at it; then I will start scrutinizing for scratched or marks on every single nail.

That day some guy looked my way for more than a minute, & I had to secretly check whether my buttons are undone & at the same time pretended not to know that he is looking. Sheesh.. funny how we all act as if we are so sure of ourselves but who are we kidding?

I wanna be nonchalant.
I wanna be nonchalant.
I wanna be nonchalant.

If saying this over and over again helps my pathetic view of life, I might just do it.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
new found love
Im beaming all over.. very pleased with my new gadget, Samsung E730 music phone.
Im proud just to listen to it ring. Haha.. im a little crazy in that aspect, gushing like a little girl again over my new gadgets. The teeny weeny materialism streak within me is satisfy for the moment. Lets hope I don’t get tired of it within a month. Ya.. im kinda flippant when it comes to guys gadgets.

It actually felt good to be able to pay for stuff that you want. Financial independence rOckz. I hv seen gals who go shopping with guys.. and then waits for the guy to whip out his wallet at the cashier to pay for stuff that she wants, that she will be using and which the guy has no chance of knowing the joy of owning it. Fair enough, if the guy offered then there is no harm, but I know some gals will take it for granted..

1. if the guy earns a reasonable income and offered to pay, I have nothing to say
2. if the guy is rich and his dad owns SIA, then I laggi got nothing to say
3. if the guy earns enough to feed himself, and gal earns enough to feed herself, why expect him to pay for her extravagance? Spare him the agony ba.

Anyway, other people’s business, other people happy 就好.

Tonight I will have to miss the superstar finals.. abit spoil sport cos its like you are watching this mum-to-be’s pregnancy for the whole nine months, taking care of her and cheering her on, and then.. and then when she finally go into labour, you don’t even get to know whether the baby is a boy or a gal. How su cky is that?!

Photo taken w my new found love… ;p

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