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its Just me & my thOughts.. walking Side by side.. on the Sandy beach.

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SeEking my Polaris

Friday, July 29, 2005
About them cool guys
Sadzz.. all the good lookers for male superstar contestants are gOne..
I rushed home at 1130pm yesterday nite to see the weichong got booted out..
Though I have never hear him sang before [where have I been??] I thought he has the superstar look leh. Then the M1 who looked like my friend went in instead, he looked like Richie Yen.. and whoever looks like Richie Yen will not go far. *Chuckles*

This is my all time favourite look in a guy, he is so cool!
Don’t you think my Cool till can die friend looks like the Chinese version of Braddy in ‘Seven’? Does Cool till can die friend have the super star look? Cool till can die friend can play the guitar but Cool till can die friend cant sing…except mimicking Andy Lau, [and Andy Lau cant sing!].. too badz.

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This cool till can die guy has lotsa tattoos hidden under his clothes, I only caught a glimpsed of the devil wings on his back. Im usually not easily impressed but Cool till can die friend never fail to surprise me.

Anywayz... im kinda having friday phobia these 3 weeks..
things seemed to go all wrong though i look so in anticipation for weekends.
Erm.. can it get better pls? I promised not to listen to sad songs if it does.
Angel is nowhere to be found again..
im quite good at acting strong, i realised.
why do i always think that im so unfailable?
im so wrong!
So Blardy wrong..
Thursday, July 28, 2005
They are so evil!
NKF: (verb) - to cheat, to report lower or higher figures with an intention to cheat, to report false figures. Eg. Ah Beng NKFed his salary to impress that chio bu he was after without realizing that she NKFed her vital statistics by wearing wonder bra.

NKF: (noun) - an organization whose modus operandi are dubious. Eg. Ah Lian left that company because she found that it is an NKF.

TT Durai: (verb) - to secretly take and take money from company, to secretly maximize entitlements or privileges.
Eg. Ah Seng regretted not TT Durai'ing as much as possible from his ex-company before he was sacked.

peanut: (noun) - a unit of currency equivalent to S$600,000. Eg. The jackpot for the Toto this Thursday is 2 peanuts (S$1.2m).

this quite funny

Deliberately Understating Reserves And Income

i cant believed they still hv something to say abt the nkf saga after all the peanuts emails, smses.. haha yes i got it from zol, my poly frns, my sis, my bro.. and i suspect my dog would also sent it to me if i had one! but this vocab one is the ultimate.. what a jackass!
My VP gave me the shock of my life when he used the word 'jackass' in yesterday's meeting.
My jaws almost dropped but i had to pretend that i wasnt the least bit surprised..
[he was referring to our U.S. counterparts] Then he went on to say... 'pls pardon my french'
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
heart of matter
I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter,
But my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter...
But I think it's about forgiveness, forgiveness...
Even if... even if... you don't love me anymore.

- Don Henley

Check out the latest beautiful 2karat engagement ring that someone has given me.
Monday, July 25, 2005
yesh.. im gonna revamp my room!
decided to drop the idea of visiting Ikea over the weekends..
not sure if i can take the stuffiness or the frenzy Ikea crowd
i dont wanna faint there manz

Its quite exciting to be shopping around for furniture.
See see look look what you can do to decor your room is fun
right up to the small details of gettin a lamp for that coSy corner :)
and of cos not everyone is fortunate to have a 'hotelstyle-lookalike-room' like art
his is like those walking out of a hotel brochures, im not exaggerating!
fit enough to be posted on website i heard :P

took a stroll & visit down to Arab street.
Pretty authentic cafes they have there!
Forget those coffee bean, starbucks... be adventurous to try out the exotic stuff there!
i tried smoking the water pipe [forget the name liao] also.. ya, naughty naughty.. but friend say no nicotine content wor
so no harm trying a few puffs
Makes me sleepy though.. haa. Let me sleep through this period.
When i wake up, it will be A okay.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
The Island
'The Island' - fully recommended.

went to watch the show without any tinge of expectations.
Its just an impromptu kinda decision to see if the show timing fitted my schedule.
Didnt read any reviews of the show
and dunno what the fish the whole show is about before i watched it.
the best part is i always thought it is another 'The Beach' kind of movie with those stupid getaway plots.
Boy! was i wrong!
Ewan Mcgregor proved me wrong
Scarlett Johannsson proved me wrong
Michael Bay proved me freaking wrong
i liked the plot!
and the action packed grooves [hahaha... suffering from superstars judges' syndrome]
and most of all...
the movie left me with some food for thought
Im a real sucker for movies that rock my braincells
Dun fret, im not gonna let out any spoilers here
becOs you should go watch it and let the plot unfold before you
there are some lucky shaves here and there
how else wld you expect thOse sickening but self-righteous American Heros to be made in these very Hollywood kinda movies?? ;)
and the sex scene is also absurdly inserted into the movie
like abit extra.. hahaa partly cos i will not drool over any other male bods except those of braddy
but i guess all these are supposingly essential elements that made up a typical hollywood movie & they must be present in a Dreamworks Production rite??
Dun play play.. steven spielbergs production house leh.
Go watch!
Friday, July 22, 2005
BKK pics + Fridays
Cant believed another week flew by… cant believed its already Friday.
Thinking of revamping my messy room. Might pop down to Ikea tomorrow to get a new storage for all my junks. The Ikea people are the best in saving Storage space ma, I had that impression from the ‘东西在哪里? 快拿出来!’ advertisement.
hahaha~ LOUSY but FUNNY!

Work is very much on the fast pace now. And Friday nights are really precious to me. Dunno why its as easy to get high on a Friday, as it is equally easy to be restless and depressed.
Still, I wish they will stay forever, or at least, don’t fly by so fast. Please?
Promised the pictures for you didn’t I? These are pretty lame compared to my Bali ones.. but no digicam mah. Bo bian one.

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There is a nudging in my heart that is weighing me down.
I feel very sad leh but i cant show it.
Why for 2 fridays in a row, i felt sad already?
Can somebody tell me?
Maybe i deserved it.
passing by
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Tired. 2 nights of not having sufficient rest.
That is affecting my mood.
And my cough, of course.
Been listening to Jolin’s ‘天空’ a lot
Sometimes humming it to myself, to sleep.
I like the sad rhythm and helplessness of the song
Total despair
Heard another version on the radio recently.
By a guy group with a stupid group name ‘原味觉醒’
Not sure if this is the right name, but I don’t care
Because in my opinion they spoil the song totally
Why cant people sing their own original song?
Their voice not so nice and they cant sing that despair ness like Jolin.
Maybe certain songs sound much better when the person sang it from her experience
The breakup with Jay did help. I think.
The only song that a cover was done good or on par was ‘倒带’
Both jay & jolin’s versions are nice
I give them both 2 thumbs up!

Did anyone watched Superstar last night?
My predictions are Leon and Hagen [if I can allow to have 2 la].
The first guy Derrick [I think], I cant comment cause I have never ever heard him sing before! No fate of catching his performance since epi 1.
Leon – he sang the Tao ze song really well. Though lacking abit in star appeal but he does look like the everyone-hated sissy from 5566. or so I thought. Haa..
Hagen – full score in the looks compartment. Not that I find him handsome, but I do think he already looked like a star/singer standing on that stage. That is winning hands down ok. He sang the ‘听海’ song lousily though. No kick & no punch. But my sixth sense tells me that he has boyish looks might help him in the poll thingy. Who needs another ‘Jiang Nan’ or ‘Lan Tian’ or ‘Dou Jiang You Tiao’ Singapore singer?? Tell the world out there that there are cute looking boys in Singapore too alright.
Those teeny boopers out there don’t mind another Jerry Yan to die for!
Seriously NOT my type though.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Lost love
The jacky cheung song... 我真的受伤了... for your listening pleasure..
was introduce to it by a friend. It reminded me of an old song [Ye Zi].. by Ah Sang. a super duper sad song. and.. its the same sadness of a lost love.
like.. things will never be the same again kinda feeling.
like.. u hv lost a good part of your life
like.. you will never be able to see things in the same way again
couples holding hands;
that familiar coffee place;
a stroll back home;
that particular movie;
that particular song;
the way someone looked at you;
the impact that hit you.. can never be articulated.

time.. will only lessen the impact
but it will never take away
that thing you once had.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005
chio chio
dont understand this one thing!
why do guys like to tell me which gals they admire..
and go on and on abt how damn pretty the gals are
and they have a face to die for
or its their dream gal... etc.
and... they have the cheek to forward me the pictures of those gals they like.
celebrities photos of cos damn nice lah!
dunno got photo-shopped before or not also..
pls lor.. well then again,
i might also be drooling over brad or jay or takeshi..
ok la, forgive them.

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Jean wang jing ying - taiwan model
Quoted:- ' Jean Wang..thats her name.A long forgotten taiwan model/celeb.Bt recently came up in the news for all the wrong reasons.Bt nothing gotta do with her.Its her husband being unfaithfull etc..she is just damn pretty..a classic. hahaha. '

i care meh?
Monday, July 18, 2005
A lil ReSpect
i did find some pictures from bkk... in my HP.. haha.
will upload them once i hv chance.
and surprised surprised!
there a picture of titus... he sent me an mms the other day.
contemplating whether to upload it...
probably, maybee, i know i know... the suspense's gonna kill you.
i just might.

anywayz.. what brings me here tonight is cos of a frn's blog that i hv read.
have been reading it on and off and lately... there's something that has been bugging me.
the thing is, the bf and her was separated cos the bf needs to go states for work
3 mths i think.
the bf havent been very hardworking in communicating with her
or updating the blog [both of them have access to update the blog u see]
ANYWAYz.... to cut the long story short
she is freaking [thats a mild term] unhappy about the way the bf is handling the LDR.
she blogs about:
-her fun times at work
-her shopping spree
-her night out with frns that she drank and drank
-her wonderful colleagues that buy her gifts
-some guys treating her damn nicely
-some guys sending stuff to her house
then she whines about:
-her bf not calling her, thus not loving her
-her bf not smsing her, thus not loving her
-her bf not blogging, thus not loving her
-how sucky her bf is being her bf; and thus, not loving her...

["Can you tell me what I did wrong? Why do you always bo chup me... I am here feeling so hurt and sad everyday, while I have no news from you"
"No there is nothing wrong with you. The fault lies in me. I am having a rough week"
I thought he should be in the US enjoying himself, its a bloody Work and Travel USA. What's so stressed about it?]

im not in the best position to judge. but i hv only 1 advise for her.
let go, or accept it.
dun spoil the relationship further; dun make your bf to be such a great devil infront of all your frns.. no matter how much u wanna provoke a reaction out of him.
he's not gonna care.
he's not gonna care if you dont care about his feelings in the first place.
no la, im not speaking up for the guy
but im worried about where all these are gonna lead
dun do things that you gonna regret
dun say things that you cant retract back
if you still love him..

*disclaimer: the above represnts my own opinions. no human beings should be hurt in the process of jotting down my 2 cents worth.
pUre sickness
It has been pure madness in the past week for me.
I hv experienced hell and salvation all at once.
Some of you would have know that I fell very very sick in Bangkok. That sickness really got to me. It took away the life in me. It left me very drained. The flight back was hellish. My best friend was the pana and mineral water to subdue the high fever. The two Indian ladies sitting beside me didn’t helped, they made lotsa conversation and I had to make way for them when they need the lavatory. [but thank my lucky star they are not the smelly category and they are quite slim, else I would just die of suffocation on the spot!]

Note: For those have not been on JetStar, I luvvv their leather seats. To be frank, the seats were quite comfy n spacious. More so than SQ’s economy. And it is reaaally hassle-free, no long waiting time to board, alight the plane, or waiting for take-off. Everything is plainly no frills. Everyone is casual too.. you can bring your own drinks and snacks. Paid refreshment is available on board and you only need to pay between $2 to $8 bucks. Affordable.

Though I feel sick the later half of the trip, I was very happy i got a portrait drawn there and it looked very real, very like me. I realized I did buy a lot a lot of things with S$350. my luggage was filled to the brim and I hate to check in another bag full of clothes ;p. Every dinner there was sumptuous and the Japanese food dirt cheap. But hor, I tell myself I will not go on a trip with a shoppaholic who can survive on 1 and a half meals per day. Partner wld rather go on hunger and shop from 10am till 6pm.. I had to negotiate for a quick bite inbetween and then winced in hunger and tahan till 6pm for the sumptuous meal. Luckily it is sumptuous else I might just kill somebody!!! We had late nights till 4am at least. We went to the night markets to explore and after that will find a place to chill out and chit chat.. till wee hours in the morning. Its no wonder I fell so sick! My body cannot take it liao. Old alreadyyyy ma. Now I know jolly well that my next trip has better allow me to be well fed & well rested!

Now, fever is gone [just need to take care no night chill for me]. Cough is subduing though night time its still haunting me. Sore eye getting better today [ya, dunno why got the sore eye suddenly on sat. like a package deal you know?! Actually I only have myself to blame. Too acidic… ;p] Yest, my church friends bought me flowers and sent to my house. There was nothing special about the flowers but I thought it did cheer me up abit :)

And so I tell myself, everything’s gonna be alright, soon, real soon.
and so, my blog wont be lonely again.. haaa.

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Friday, July 15, 2005
msn rockz
when u feel like sh it, there is always some joker who comes along and make you flip. this extract is not that funnny under normal circumstances, but i kinda like the way the conversation went on n on.. sometimes having people to talk to is important. i concluded.
who wanna concur? :)

shann~ perpetual cOugh says:
why pain?
Pain Pain~ says:
Pain Pain~ says:
shuttle run, i fell forward...
Pain Pain~ says:
and i use hands to brake..
shann~ perpetual cOugh says:
u ok??
Pain Pain~ says:
skidded for around 20cm..
Pain Pain~ says:
skin comes off loh
Pain Pain~ says:
shann~ perpetual cOugh says:
then bathe that time pain pain
shann~ perpetual cOugh says:
Pain Pain~ says:
yah bleeding
Pain Pain~ says:
Pain Pain~ says:
shann~ perpetual cOugh says:
shann~ perpetual cOugh says:
got see medic or not?
Pain Pain~ says:
shann~ perpetual cOugh says:
why so pia?
Pain Pain~ says:
cos 400 dollars
shann~ perpetual cOugh says:
then got the moeny?
Pain Pain~ says:
no leh [wahahahahah]
shann~ perpetual cOugh says:
mux dress wound properly k
shann~ perpetual cOugh says:
dun let it get infected
Pain Pain~ says:
shann~ perpetual cOugh says:
like small kid lidat!
Pain Pain~ says:
Pain Pain~ says:
i am small kid
mei feelingbetter?
shann~ perpetual cOugh says:
cough still bad
having cough is ciak lak
must rest more early
shann~ perpetual cOugh says:
so how?
so how?
shann~ perpetual cOugh says:
how u gonna wash yr face?
maybe put plastic
shann~ perpetual cOugh says:
then mux put rubber band on yr wrist
shann~ perpetual cOugh says:
so the plastic dun move
mabbe wear golves
shann~ perpetual cOugh says:
gloves...!! how to wash face lidat
says:good question

hmmm i trying to find waterproof gloves
so can clean face
shann~ perpetual cOugh says:
RUBBER GLOVES R waterproof
shann~ perpetual cOugh says:
der, those pple use for wash dishes one
shann~ perpetual cOugh says:
Thursday, July 07, 2005
its farewell... for now.
Right, lets get something straight.

if im not back in one piece by monday.
remember that i love you all...~

Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Im excited but equally scared
Going on a maiden journey on a plane all by myself
And its those budget airline, a first for me
Wait plane crash how?
Taking a cab all by myself in Thailand to the hotel
Scared leh
Wait people see me pretty wanna kidnap me how?
Wait kana con how?
I shudder at those thoughts
Then I remembered how I travelled all the way to aussie land by my own
At a tender age of 21
Was scared like shit also
Cried till my eyes were swollen when i was on the plane
But the independent streak in me took over the moment I stepped onto a new land
And I wish this time round it will be the same too

“A brave new me in a brave new world…”

- here's an old, sad Landy Wen Lan song that brings a tear to the eye. Limited downloads avail.

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Tuesday, July 05, 2005
The two wolves
The two wolves

A Native American grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he
felt. He said, "I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart.
One wolf is the vengeful, angry, violent one.
The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one."
The grandson asked him, "Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?"
The grandfather answered: "The one I feed."
Don’t really feel like updating my blog much.

Just that a dear friend’s father-in-law has passed away weeks ago.
And now, another good friend’s granny passed away yesterday.
I promised myself to attend the wake tonight, late. Despite being busy.
Despite having to prepare for my Bangkok trip and fulfill my other commitments.

Probably to me, it seemed more important to be there for someone during times of grief.
And I have always preferred attending funerals compared to weddings.
Not that I enjoy deaths, we should all realized by now that death is inevitable and it comes to everyone.
But to those who are grieving over the lost of love ones
I just wanna be there for them as much as possible.
The joyous occasions come and go like the wind.
We relied on photos, videos, and well-wishes for remembrance
But the things like grief..
You don’t need any mementos
Because its an aching in your heart that will never go away
Its always there
After some years, the pain might be lessen
But the grieving does not stop. It only deepens.
The longing for that someone close to you who have passed away will never cease.

Its been 2 years, and I still missed her a great deal.
Friday, July 01, 2005
Here are 2 mp3s for the Initial D Soundtrack.
lyrics r included!

'一路向北' is very nice.. to me.
i can listen to it over and over again
losing track of time
and its the only song in my playlist when im playing yahoo pool ;p

href="http://www.bresso.com">MP3 downloads | music downloads