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its Just me & my thOughts.. walking Side by side.. on the Sandy beach.

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SeEking my Polaris

Friday, March 24, 2006
Andy
...
我每次醒来都怕你不在
我每次都想挣脱你醒来
终於明白生命里面总有个人
可以去爱不能依赖


Andy lau’s classic song.. till today. It’s a song I will never forget.
And now when I heard it on the radio. It brought on a whole new perspective for me.

Sadness.
每次醒来都怕你不在。。。
food for thought
Have You heard of the 5 languages of love?
- time
- gifts
- words of encouragement
- acts of services
- touch

Now, it seemed to me that everyone has at least 2 languages of love that they want. Mine is time and acts of services, followed by words. Does it occur to you that the love language that you desire might not be the language that you are capable of giving out? Most of the time, you yearn for something that you don’t already have. What if someone comes along and appears to fit your bill better? Do you dump your better halfs for them?

Overheard:
Liking someone is based on an emotion and feeling, it cannot be explained
Loving someone is a decision.
You have decided that you will stick through thick n thin.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Drippity drip
Drip drip drip..
Drip drip drip..
After sore eyes come dripping nose.
These things like to come in a package.
I never say I want Buy-One-Get-One-Free wad?!

Still... 小病是福,
yesterday, I enjoyed sleeping my day away very much :)


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Here's my colleague, trying to be funny, as always.

Lunch @ Macdonald's - New Healthy After Meal Snacks
Fresh apple slices [packed & air flown from USA] + the caramel dipper [LOW FAT].. tastes healthy n good!
Only $1 with every Value Meal purchase.
Else, pls pay $2.50!! for an apple? suckzz man.
other choices are, a cup of steam corn, or a bowl of salad.
Macdonald's.... I'm Loving It [You're Earning it].
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
brew me
So, I kana sore eyes.
Made my way to church despite that on sunday.
Friggin sun rays caused me to tear all the way.
Ya, I was geared in my most nerdy get ups.
Specs, with striped polo tee, tattered jeans that hung lowly, a big fila sling back over my shoulder. Days like these, I really just wanna hang loose.

It was a mad rush that day.. and I made my way down to HV to
Grab my lunch at 330pm! I think Sushi Teh undercharged us quite abit!
Hmm.. complaining about the beef being tough really helps?
Proceeded to Essential brew to comment about the People, the noise level,
and to laze the afternoon away. I like spending times like these with you.

Last night I rushed home to catch the results for campus superstar.
Ta ma de. Adriano is out.
But he is so real n amusing. After his clip is being shown of his journey for the stardom, He quipped, ‘为什么这么好笑的?! 我都不知道会拍到这样!’
哈哈.. damn natural. And he even told Zhiyang to win, saying that ‘你是我的冠军!’
I bluffed my mum that I’m gonna have sleepless nite, and she actually believed me.

Today a new colleague joined us for lunch, he is a Japanese and his speaks broken English but in a funny way.. we laugh like mad when he was trying to pronounce some local words like Ly-chee and Pasar Malam.. my col keep pushing me to bring him out during weekends. And I just smiled and say I don’t go out, I stay at home all the time.

.. still the restlessness prevails. Is it me? Or is it just the friggin PMS mood.

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Friday, March 17, 2006
broken... in spirit
I found an old specs in my drawer today. Its blue metal framed.
I vaguely remembered wearing it for less than 5 times. The degree was too high and it gives me headache I think. Then I was looking at it and saw that it’s a titanium frame! Where the hell did I get that kind of money to make a Titanium framed specs then leave it lying in the drawer for a couple of yrs?
How come I feel so broke now huh?

I want Lasik. but am feeling damn broke.

i feel like i'm on the outside looking in.
another surge of pms wave jus came crashing over me.
and we are too busy?
timing clash seemed like a problem for us now huh.
no la.. i dont blame you at all. seriously.
no one really know how to handle this shite.
i jus dunno where to channel all these
'need-to-talk-to-someone-but-dunno-how-to-start-and-the-someone-is-not-just-anyone' energy to.

im going home soon. need a friggin' break.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
life..
My desktop radio frigging low battery again. There are nice songs that the station is playing, but all of them came out distorted. Like a spoilt disc that the DJ is playing. Si bei pai tiah. But I just had to keep the music on else its freaking quiet.

My eyes are getting worst. Blurry vision even when I looked at the screen. Insomnia yesterday again.. reached home at 11 plus in the night but slept about 2am. Damn, has my aging process started already? Im not even 30!

Does most couple put on weight after marriage? Yesterday pop over to my primary school friend’s new place. Which happens to be on the 18th floor of my block. Saw their couple photoshoot photos taken 5 years back. So slim! Their chins used to be sharp and now.. it has taken on the familiar round shape. I told her might as well get pregnant now and then slim down after giving birth. True right? Dun waste energy slimming down and then had to gain weight again when she’s expecting. Then she keeps lamenting and lamenting that the hubby & her looked like 2 big balls.
I am nevermind one, I think she looks pretty still.


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Wednesday, March 15, 2006
filter
Just realized that the glare from my monitor is too harsh on my eyes. And damn flat screen is not doing much to block the glare. Im experiencing some blurriness of vision if I stared at the screen for prolong period. Is there a workmen’s compensation for going blind at work from using too much PC? I don’t wanna go blind. I wanna see beautiful things, read blogs, watch movies, see the stars, see the faces of people I love.

Im feeling a tad apprehensive.. like waiting for something to blow up & not very sure how to clear up the messy debris in the aftermath.
They say cruising along in a relationship isn’t good.
Two persons will drift apart eventually.
The running about in circles and eventually landing back at square one.
I am really not very good at this. I want to feel secure.
Wherever I may be, I want to hang on to this feeling of love and be told that,
yes, I will hold you close, I will be there.
Cringed. Not gonna happen.

Anyhow, time to get a screen filter.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
BBM
Somedays, I simply wish im a bloke.
I will do away with the wishy washy. And fight for what I believe in.
I will go travel half the globe and fall in love with gals I know there.

I dunno why I’m born a gal.
I have a strong repugnance for the things of PMS and child bearing.
And for being too emotional.

Will you still love me if I’m a bloke?

HAHAHA…
am suffering from too much ‘Brokeback Mountain discussion’ syndrome.
Xpecting
I am trying a skin care product from Korea call Colour Tone, its moisturizer + sunscreen + make up base + foundation .. those all-in-one type. Hmm.. its like heaven sent! I can skipped the many steps.. and viola! Its complete! The finish look is light and provides coverage. Bought it from Sasa.. and they are having a promotion. There is also one for the guys as well.. you wont look like you have made up on, it just helps to even out yr skin tone. Metrosooxuals should be interested!

Me first time helped to choose milk powder yesterday. So funnily, to our amusement. The one with dolphin sleeping on bed means the baby will be drowsy after taking it and will sleep throughout the night. For the normal ones, the dolphins are happily in standing position. Erm.. how the hell would I know the difference if I were a new mum? The next time you are in cold storage, go take a look at the Dumex milkpowder.
Buying milk power is more complicated then thinking of what to wear for the first date. No joke.

I like the kinda relationships that flows along very well.
Even for friendships. Moments when the relationships became too hard to handle or grasp, I feel like running away from it.
Yes, I’m talking about Xpectations.
So many times relationships & friendships are jeopardize, its cos we felt disappointment to the core. Our hearts sunk to a bottomless pit.
Maybe we should just take a tiny step back.
If we don’t hold on so tightly, things will be so much easier. Huh.

Thanks for that kind of understanding you have showed forth.
I wont expect more understanding, im just very comfy with the current level.


p/s: Wee! tis looked like the good old winnie from N***.
The perm hair + shaw + plastic frame specs...
相似指度: 78%!!!
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Thursday, March 09, 2006
lala
This morning a kid was blocking my way out of the lift..
then the mum gave him a nudge and told him ‘ Boy, you are blocking auntie’s way!’
I didn’t take offence la… cos I was in office attire and obviously fits into the term ‘auntie’. The little boy turned around and look at me for a second, & chided the mum, ’Auntie??? This one jie jie laaaa..’
hahah, that made my day.
What a smart and observant boy…
kids are so damn adorable. :)

p/s: jie jie: meaning ‘sister’, definitely a younger version.


Liverpool's reign as European champions is over. They were defeated 2-0 at Anfield by Benfica, making theirs the worst defence of the trophy since the Champions League was formed.

Wah, Liverpool so lanz one.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
in May
Coming company teambuilding trip in May will most likely be at Phuket. 4D3N I think. The first thought that ran across my mine would be, is the place gonna be haunted?? Damn, would I dare to try snorkeling there? And stumble upon somethings that are unseen. Why must be Phuket?? Bluff me one, I thought its gonna be koh samui all along. And they say, at least its better than Langkawi. Sure or not?

Yesterday I had a departmental lunch to welcome a new colleague. As usual I gate crash again by invite of course. :p we went to the tepanyaki resturant on top of jurong bird park hilltop. Oh wow.. you can get a bird’s eye view of Jurong Island.. Pasir Panjang.. Jln Buloh etc.. those ulu places lor.. but I find the scenic quite nice. Must be quite pretty and appealing at night. No wonder my 30-somethings colleagues start to reminisce old memories of them coming to pak tor with their better halfs here. Surprised sial. Everyone has their pak tor days no matter how outdated they might look now.. haha. Such is the power of love?

arGh.. this sucking keypad is giving me jumpy screen.. have to endure this laptop for another day. IT guy is doing major uplifting for my system, ok lor, good things have to wait right?

I hv patience, I wait.
duhz
Its freaking karma.

Yesterday I was so happy downloading Nokia suite onto my work PC. I managed to coax the IT administrator to gimme his password. My coy do not allow installation of softwares by ourselves for security purposes. So blissful when I got my N70 connected via the usb port. But dunno who the hell sent me an email attachment with corrupted pdf file! It crashed my IE and Adobe reader.
I think its from my col in china.. damn okayyyy.

Im working on a spare laptop now, which keypad sucks big time. Waiting for another IT guy to fix up my comp.. its been taking hours! and then.. I might have to coax him to install my iTunes [for my ipod nano] and Nokia suite all over again.
SIANZ.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
N70
My new baby is in town.
My N70.
:)

Between wanting to buy Samsung D700, Sony Ericsson W800i… I chose N70. bcos it is a frigging 3G phone. The gadget freak in me still go for functionality in the end even though im not a 3G user!! Sleek Samsung phones satisfy the materialism within me to look good. Sony Ericsson will feed my inate music needs but not as user friendly I heard. Nokia.. its their human technology. Currently, I’m giving the phone a rating of 7.5. just got it connected to my PC via Nokia Suite then I will see how user friendly it is compared to my Samsung. Oh, it comes with a USB cable too.. and it’s a shame that its battery life lasts so much longer then Samsung’s. I do not have to rush home every night :p oh ya…. What’s the damage?

700+ without contract. Ya, pls know that I will be surviving on air and grass and maybe rainwater for a while.
Friday, March 03, 2006
thOse lips
You know how in the past.. people like you and me wouldn’t give a damn about thick lips. We felt it stuck out like a sore thumb on a face. Look how Angelina.Jolie and Shu Qi have toppled this perception and bring thick lips to a fashion icon level! I simply cant stop ogling at this new colleague. She has ultra thick lips like A. Jolie.. and that’s just damn sexy okay. She’s not outrageously gorgeous, but her lips sorta made a statement for her.

The oxy moron is how sometimes we might think certain characteristics is a flaw, but it turned out to be the most special bit that we come to love and appreciate in a person.

i'm so beginning to like flaws that made a statement.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
BS
So anyway, today rene was telling me how she has stepped on the tail
of her new boss. you know, how some people's tail is cannot be stepped on one?
The boss invited her for 'coffee' in the meeting room for a long time.
the whole thing sparks off cos, the boss overheard [apparently we
suspect there's a big mouth spreading the rumour] that rene was unhappy
with her boss's managing skills. haa.. holy cow, the person who spread
this shall have her ass burnt.

So we spent the entire lunch considering her alternatives for this job.
she didnt want to leave cos her commission is very good for these few months.
And that leaves her no choice but to carry on
working for a 'eight character clash' boss.
Sometimes monetary gains can make a person stronger [read:ruthless] you know?
or so i thought.
Dont we all meet people like that in our life all the time?
People whom you cannot bear the sight of BUT have to kowtow to.
Such is life. sucky.

Where big money is at stake, integrity is just bullshite?


+++


我想我还有一天
可以学会如何来爱你
在来不及以前渴望来得及...
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
material goods
Was looking around and couldn’t find a nice pair of ¾ jeans. Either they ran out of size 24, or their cutting is abit ‘auntie’. Finally bought one pair yesterday that I really liked! The cutting.. its not those flair type at the bottom, so it is more hip n stylo. Yeah! I am still a size 24, the extra bulge on the tummy for the past week was just water retention from PMS. Waste my time to do crunches at night~

Cousin is in Europe, and he promised to buy a nice Gucci bag for me. I will insist on paying him back if the bag turned out to be what I want, that is. Haha. Else he might have to give it to his wife. Good what.. the wife will be happy, I am helping them to improve their marriage. :)

I am so wanting to know how it feels like to be materialistic. To comprehend how tangible things are able to satisfy inner desires. These retail therapy days better end soon. I’m suffering from a hangover. Overspended this month and I have still YET to buy a new mobile phone.

Hmm.. The Coffee Bean’s hot chocolate tastes so good yesterday! I cant wait to have another glass of it. Funny how it tastes different from Starbucks ones.. which are served in a mug. And all along I am stupid enough to think ALL hot chocolates should be served in a mug, no? You drink hot choco in a mug in front of fireplace, cosy yeah! This one came in a latte glass.. and gosh, it tastes splendid! Light and fluffy. Me Like.
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