SeEking my Polaris

hello.. hello.. hello..
can anybody hear me?

i need to clear my mind and focus.
are you there?

i realised through this time that simple things make me happy.
Simple things like playing a fool with you.

but is this too late?

Is there something that you are worrying about today? To worry means to allow something to revolve in your mind over and over again. God doesn’t want you to live worried or anxious about anything. He knows that worry steals your peace and joy. It affects every area of your life. Have you heard the saying, “Don’t worry yourself sick?” That’s because worrying affects your physical body. It affects your sleep. You won’t ever gain anything by worrying; in fact, you’ll lose precious moments that you can never get back again. The good news is that God has promised that you can have victory over worry. It starts by making the choice to trust in Him. When you cast your cares on Him, He will give you His peace. Decide today to put an end to worry in your life. Choose to feed your faith and fill your mind with God's promises. As you focus on God’s Word, you’ll drive out worry and fill your heart with faith and expectancy; and you’ll be empowered to move forward into the life of blessing He has in store for you!

A PRAYER FOR TODAY

Heavenly Father, today I choose to put an end to worry in my life. I choose to feed my faith by studying Your promises and declaring Your Word over my life. Help me to totally trust in You today and every day in Jesus’ name. Amen.

its been a long while.

im glad things hv moved on. as the future unfolds.
god is good, all the time.

i want to catch the show curious case of benjamin button. cos there is brad pitt.
:)

jus want to reiterate.
im so glad.

Labels: Drifts

whew.. the past months flew by in a flashed.
some interesting updates

started a new job in July, and i jus tendered my resignation. specialised in events management etc.. tired tired.. health is taking a toil, 4 months of endurance so i think i better pull the plug early! thats me.. not very $-driven kind. haa.

busy with all the housing n wedding prep. yup im finally allowing myself to get off the shelf, after some internal conversations between my heart and my mind ;p Mixed feelings, cos a new future awaits. lifestyle changing. well i guess everyone go through this stage ya. many of my friends are already married and having kids. i wonder how is life in their shoes? oh ya, should i pick a gown that i look stunning in? or one that i feel comfortable in? shucks.

i have met some really nice folks, and some not so nice people in my worklife. my philosophy in life is, i cant be bothered about them cos they are not my ultimate destiny. they think they are bigshot in the company, for goodness sake, they are just pathetic puppets who have no choice but to act tough/put on mask etc. But for the really nice folks, i will truly cherish them. learnt alot about myself, through the hectic and demanding job, also about people around me.. for those people who fell into office politics, its really a choice and an attitude, i dont understand their mentally of playing mind games. im so tired at time. i just want to maintain my honesty and truthfulness. and do my work A**holes. now my marketing experience includes Events, which is cool! also handling websites like joomla, and using PHP. those are really good freewares to set up own business in future. thank god for opening my eyes!

Feels good to take a break now. and wait to charge when the next round of waves come around. yeah, just like surfing yah. niceee.

know what?.. the 1 year death aniversary for irene jus passed. i think of her often. i dunno why? the way she indulge in food even though she needs to lose weight. the way she provided for her entire family without any complains though she is same age as me. the way she lie in the coffin with her hair pin up like how she always do. i miss you my friend. i miss you even though you are so faraway and time is supposed to wash away the pain. i still feel the lost.

Labels: Drifts, Friends, wOrk

祝君好

听你不断呼叫
我划破宁静
我的心下堕在难过
讲不出爱没结果
口和唇紧紧闭锁
哭也一话都不说
害怕连累你一生
日月憾无缺
只差跟你曾遇过
给过你太多波折

宁愿没拥抱共你可到老
任由你来去自如
在我心底仍爱慕
如若碰到他比我好
只望停在远处祝君安好

虽不可亲口细诉说
太多话我想说
但我还是要哑口道别
任由我天空海阔流着血
只要你白似冰雪

宁愿没拥抱共你可到老
任由你来去自如
在我心底仍爱慕
如若碰到他比我好
只望停在远处祝君安好

虽不可亲口细诉
宁愿没拥抱共你能够终老
任由你来去自如
在我心底仍爱慕
如若碰到他比我好
只望停在远处祝君安好

虽不可亲口细诉

im exercising myself to death now..
am still suffering from muscle ache from monday's workout [after a 2 weeks break,
i signed on for a brand new season].. tonight stil hv to attend company's workout class.
hehe.. is this overindulgence or wad?

contemplating to take up masters in counselling? career switched?
my dream is to own a counselling centre n help people.
how to work towards it? shld i work towards it?

delimma..

actually got nothing to lose except time and $. cos the current job im really staying for the pay.
can throw letter anytime i supposed.

alright... Universe, pls provide.

What are your dreams?

Labels: Drifts

Labels: Drifts

i need to randomly let off some steam.

Contentment is something so elusive for a large part of my life..
im constantly searchin for ways to impRove my life,
and yet at a much later part.. i found some regrets along the way.
is this the learning path as some say?
i know i treaded heavily towards the wrong direction many times,
and i insist on treading down that way..
even when i see nothing fruitful wil emerge.
have you felt tht way before?

no.. not disappointment. tis isnt a right word.
just mayb.. indifference.. and withdrawal.
just feel like letting everything go.
why isnt my life moving forward?
why am i not fruitful?

but am i complaining? NO. cos i have to be contented, that life is at
major parts peaceful like a river.
but am i happy? a resounding No.

with lack in rest, i cant even construct what i want to say in a complete
and comprehendable sentence.

i want to feel better. i want to feel good.

Labels: Drifts, ToUgh Life

yiPpie! gOd is good...
new year haS been a good start. family, relationshiPs, careeR.
foCus yr mind on what you want.. and you wil get them.
keep the faith.

Jan happenings:

met up with wee2 @ PS to celebrate her belated bday..
hehe this is b4 she's gOnna be mummy very sOon! Omg! so excited for her..
we catch up alot and im glad things are well for her, except well.. u know who and i told myself
i will pray for her on that aspect. after dinner, i suggested dessert with
macs choc fudge sunday, look whos the pregnant one!

R is proceeding w her divorce now, and her hubby wanna fight for joint custody..
sheez. that really left her in a spot..
and i cannot imagine why irresponsible guys wan to hv a share in the kid?
i bet he just want to make sure R cannot draw a clean split w him. selfish guy.

coy got 2 guys got terminated lor... cos they set up office in china.. breach of contract.
they got the audencity to steal customers n deals.. plus, its been happening for a
year le.. so out they went, in shame. Not to say whos right or wrOng. but i guess Greed has
always been a downfall for mankind, no? straight after that... logistics manager and his wife
resigned within 24 hours.. another piece of shOcking news. we are all speculating whether
both incidents are related.. but well.. management is keep mum abt it.
Sad thing is, might kana police case.. all the best to those 2 col n their families..

of cos.. jay's concert. i enjoyed it though i think probably im gettin on in age... haha
not so wowed by him anymore, though he still does his part well la. showing off his talent,
humour, shua shuai, stylo dance moves.. the fireworks are the most amazing.. wish i
was sitting right near to the stage man. but i really dont like the 2 obasan who were having their
hands all over jay. fat n ugly. no wonder jay was trying to avoid them, n his face like plastic.
overall 3.3/5.

also went for a 3 nights relationship seminar.. and learnt alot, about loving yourself first
b4 you can love others. we dont need pple to Complete us.. and we dont complete pple.
God wants us to be complete in ourselves first.. his love is able to fulfilled us. when
we grow in our maturity and character, only then can we give love to others ma.
true true true..

i wish i can post some photos soon. Yup, laterz.

Labels: Drifts

Labels: Drifts, Love, ToUgh Life

Been thinking abt this. i havent been really diligent about keeping this blog.
probably there are many things that i cant share openly [like how Angel spied on me].
but mostly a lack of time..
i would therefore use this as a bi-monthy & emergency blog.
bi-monthly to keep track of the happenings in my life;
emergency when i feel like exploding within, this is where i wil turn to :)
i stil love to write whenever the inspiration comes.
so i wil not be calling it quits.

Lookking thru my resolutions for 2007 below...
geez, didnt accomplish somebut for the more important ones, YES!

Let me take stock...."
1. Learn to play the keyboard well.
[stil struggling w guitar, and i tell myself, i MUST sign up for keyboard this year!]

2. Love the enemies. Forgive people who take me for granted/hurt/disappoint me time and again.[hmm.. cant really remember whether i was bitterly hurt or disappointed, is that supposed to be a good sign? but yah, i guess in some way or another, hv learnt to let go a far bit. esp in work, ministry, family.. when conflict arises.. i want to choose to forgive n forget]

3. Exercise, like to climb the stairs n do crunches at night.
[A resounding YES! climb stairs, went for a quarter of ABT, and yeah i have signed up for a brand new session.. enjoying myself with better health, spirit]

4. LASIK
[Done! and i went for a 2nd wavefront ops for my left eye to get rid of residual astigmaism. not as bad as i thought. God & CG has seen me through for this one, thankie!]

5. Travel - Korea
[pass on tis, this year hopefully? :)]

6. Another Mission trip?
[no chance, hope we can org something this year]

7. Mentoring someone in church
[Hehe.. yes, God has sent me an angelic sheepy, Joycey chia. it was definitely divine our paths crossed years ago at GMX, & again last year @ Plaza Sg, definitely. Love ya. Finally overcome my fear of being a shepherd by God's grace. She has been through holy spirit bap, water bap, and is officially a member of Hope Sg now, by god's grace. Pray that God wil oversee this relationship and uphold the both of us. ]

8. Stay above circumstances and overcome them. [tOugh]
Angel has slip disc relaspe
Irene passing away from Cancer in a span of 5 mths
Work life stagnancy
Dry patch in spiritual walk, compromising on devotion time that is a slow poison
Family situations that overwhelms @ times
Relationship struggle. Learning about trust Etc.

God is sovereign, and amidst all, He has been there for me, carrying me through.
I cant express how grateful I am that I am holding on to His love,
without which,life would be meaningless.

9. Breakthrough in my work"
[I wanna see this one coming to pass this year, hopefully by March]

10. Do weekly reflections.
[Journal is nicely done :)]

thats my report card. haha.. more personal resolutions this year, and see
if i can keep them :)
Am so looking forward to Jay over the weekends.
thanks kind soul.

Labels: Drifts

cute baby niece~ 1 month plus le! spent cmas at my sis house, w delicious food & games & treasure hunt for all!
wah roaz.. how to make a poodle huh... its much easier than u think!
look at the tall hat, it took the master 2 hrs to make it! kudos to sis for going to NUH caroling w me :)

hee.. coy open house, brought my niece along and she enjoyed herself so much that she dont wanna leave.

Labels: Friends, Holidayz

OMG~ its 3pm on christmas eve & im stil slogging in the office :(
i guess the whole world must be snoozing at hOme or rushing for last min shopping right now.
we had pot luck in office this year.. frankly i do miss my 99 and noel gang during
every years christmas.. we hv silly games and played guardian n angel that makes
christmas potluck so much more meaningful and interesting.

had meet up with a few group of friends of late.. stil a couple more to go.
frns frns frns.. if you no longer feel the same or hold the same care towards each other
isnt it better to let go, and let the frnship die a natural death?
whats the point of forcing one another?
Mian Qiang shi mei you xing fu de.
i do not mind giving, and not being reciprocated. i do not mind that sometimes
we allow people to take more than they should.
Nothin is life or death.. isnt it?
hmm.. abit reluctant to meet up again;
Outings became an obligations, rather than an enjoyment.
i lie there awake..

these few days were great! spent time w church mates preparing for
caroling stuff.. and learning balloon sculpting, juggling..
last sat, we went to NUH to bless the patients n kids alike.. wow
its indescribable.. seeing a smile across their sickly faces..
and it really took me alot of courage to walk into each ward,
and talk to them, sing to them. im the carol IC so i had to sorta make
introductions for our team.. so paisay. haa.
great stuff though!

Labels: Church, Drifts, Friends

shoot. i spent almost $600 on spreeing online.
that is like averagely $200 per month!
starting my ABT exercise class again nx monday, after 1 month's break...
time to get those butts going again. hmm... i slimmed down quite abit after my
throat infection, n tsk tsk... no more gettin so sick again!

When i look at my calendar, I'm totally fully booked!

This Fri, meeting jess & soo
Sat, ktv w jean n gals
Sun, church n shopping

Nx tues, meeting wee wee & gals
Wed, Coy open house, & CG @ night
Thurs, Angel's bday celebration, yeah.
Fri, on leave to do last min shopping
Sat, Caroling at NUH [who wanna join me?!]
Sun, church @ suntec city...The ROCK

Nx nx Mon, Coy cmas celebration, prepare dessert.
[this always reminds me of the memorable milk yogurt dessert that jess prepared b4...
everyone's still talking abt it!]

I still hv to slot in a Family Cmas celebration, & gathering with sec sch frns.
woah~ i better treasure whatever time i hv at home to sleep...
and wrap pressies. haha.

keep it simple.

Labels: Friends, Rants, ToUgh Life

My latest niece... cute like a peach hor?
sighz.. now i hv a drive to go home each day just to carry her and
play with her.. like her very much cos she seldom cry n laugh whenever we talk to her..
smart BB!!

These are my birthday wishes thru sms!
*credit to Soo for givin the idea to record down in blog. ;p

Happy Belated Birthday! :) Sorry, remember ur birthday but forgot to sms u… me getting more n more forgetful these days.. Haha!
From a very pregnant Karine

Oops!! Its 10hrs pass ur birthday.. nevertheless.. still wan to wish u a Belated Happy Birthday!!
From the usual blurry Yiping

Halo, got the flowers yesterday?
From Chunli, the sender of 12 sexy pink roses w berries

Happy birthday sis. May the Lord brings u joy everyday of ur life :)
From Huina

Hi sis! Hope my bday wish is not 2late! Wishin u a joyous birthday! Indeed u r a year wiser in yr walk w the Lord! May u rec’ many sweet returns in ur yrs ahead! :)
Fr Lihua

Happy birthday sis. Hope u r enjoying yr lovely dinner now w damien n hope yr day was fruitful. Fr Sheep Joyce

Hey dear, Happy birthday to u! hope u enjoyed yrself these couple days with all the celebrations. May this coming year be a blessed one where u can do big things for God! Thanks for being around sis, *Hugz*
Fr Leyi

Blessed bday sista…
Fr Qianxing [shortest msg I rec’]

Dear the old days were gone and now come our future. I never forget today because its your birthday.
Fr Brian Lim

Hi Shann, wishing u a happy birthday! Happy birthday to u, Happy birthday to u. Happy birthday to Shann, Happy birthday to u. kekeke….
Fr Robin Loh

Miss OO, wanna wish u HEI BI Birthday. May the joy of the Lord be your strength ;p
Fr Danny Liu

Happy bird-day missy
Fr Erebus Butler [I think similar msg was sent last year]

Happy birthday [insert cake icon] to u, Yi! May All ur dream come true! Enjoy tis special day. Best wishes from Qian [insert happy jumping icon]
Fr Liqian

Dear dear.. Working today? just wanna wish u Happy Birthday.. Hehe.. May all your wish come true and be as happy as ever.. J muakz.
From cute Elaine

Happy bdae! Called u but I tink u r bz. Lets go makan. When r u free?
From Jess Maidy [ya, I think I was having a celebration then]

“Sheng ri kuai le” Wo zhen xin de zhu fu no, yuan ni de yuan wang shi xian ! mong shen da da de ci fu! Fan shi dou you shen de dai ling. [insert mashimaro bday icon]
Fr Jasmin Loong

Happy birthday dearest Shan! May all ur heart desire come true! *hugz* ;)
Fr Shino san

Wanyi, zhu ni sheng ri meng en meng fu, ye shu ai ni :)
Fr auntie Qiu Xia

Hi babe, happy bday to ya ! may u always be so sweet and pretty.. And always loving God with every part of u! It’s my privilege to noe u my sis! Enjoy your day.
Fr Tricia, my mission trip mate

Happy Birthday!! Itzit today? Haha.. how old ar? 30?? Hee.. Enjoy yr birthday!!!
Fr Jimmy toh [boy who never grows up]

Happy birthday sis! May you enjoy your big day. :)
Fr Jennifer

Yo babe happy happy birthday. Have a great day ahead stay pretty always
Fr Vannesa

Happy Birthday Dar Dar
Fr Bronwen, dada

Hi sis, blessed Birtthday! Praise n thank God to see u thru these years in good n strive time. perserverance must finish its work so that u may be mature n complete.. :)
From Wanjun, ex CL

Dear sis, happy birthday to you. May you hv many wonderful things ahead of you & many happy returns.
From Grace Oo

Hey!! Happy birthday!! Tell me I am the 1st to welcome u to the club thirties!!
Fr Jessie [don’t remind me sista! ;p]

Today you’re one year older, today you’re one year wiser, today you’re one year stronger in your walk w e Lord. Happy birthday to u my sister, sheep n fren!
Fr Jean Tan, shepherd

MMS [insert montage of our photos taken today throughout the year]
I like this photos.. used it as wallpaper..Hope u like it too! Sweetdreams muakz.
Fr Shereen

Happy birthday gal! Hope you have a great time celebrating with Damien these two days.
Hope you like your present.
Fr Winnie, weewee [yes! I love it!]

Happy Birthday to u sister! Hope tat u hav great day of celebration w damien tmr :)
Fr Colin Por

MMS [insert montage photos of me blowing my bday cake last year]
Happy birthday to my dearest sis Shann Shann.. may u have a blessed birthday..
Aiks.. 30th liao hor.. New generation de.. ;p
Fr naughty Shereen [again, 2 MMS in a row, how abt that?!]

Happy birthday! Wishing you happiness always healthy always and many all your wishes come true :) Happy birthday!
Fr Charles

Hapi bithday sis, Wu wu wu..
Fr Alexis Oo [wu wu wu is our secret code… haha]

Dear yih daughter, happy birthday to u n have all best you wish for. By father. 20-11-07
Fr my Daddy Oo [all the way from china.. thanks for remembering dad!]

Thanks for adding a unique color in tis family n being such a blessing to us thru yr walk w God n growth in Him. May e coming yr b yet another yr of significance 4 u in ur journey w Christ! :)
Fr Kevin, my UL

May the love of God surround you. May his peace be all around you and may you day be blessed with everything that’s happiest.
Fr Stanley Ang

Plus the ecards..

Thank you all my friends for making my life memorable :) I love You all!

Labels: Drifts, Friends, ToUgh Life

Labels: Love, ToUgh Life

不想一直对天空伸着手，
期待谁来牵着我往前走!!!

so many things happened! since my bday..
i wonder is it for the good or for the bad?
hmm...
if its time to move on, dont dwell on it for a minute longer.

Labels: Drifts

Labels: Drifts, Love

The Old has gone.. the New has come.
wake me up when October ends :)

Labels: Drifts

Al Gore, U.N.'s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change win 2007 Nobel Peace Prize,
CNN reports.

Woot! i remember watching the movie - An Inconvenient Truth.
and i was fully convinced by the facts presented..
i'm glad Mr Al Gore got for himself a Nobel Peace pRize.

In the movie, i saw how fragile the earth was..
and i thought now... hey, can doom's day come any sooner..
i cant wait to see God.

I scare myself sometimes.

Labels: Drifts

i know, its the longest time that i have gone Hiatus.
without a word.
and this isnt my intention afterall..
i felt a blockage in my life. one that i can never express in words.
or the typing of the keyboard.
God, i need a miracle.
to help me changed my life.

this isnt the end of the road i know,
there has to be a new road somewhere, a new direction
a new passion.. or rekindling of an old passion?
i need it badly. detest this rolling in the mud.
detest the stupid angmoh that is thousands of miles away
and changed his mind with the clicking of the mouse.
detest the life that im going to have. walking down the isle
detest the unhappy times, lonely times, times i wish i knew
whats going on, and that i had seen this comin all along?
i had seen this comin ALL along... didnt i?

i was just too timid, to say no.
to walk out on things, people, family.
this whole incorrigibility doesnt make sense to me?
the world is sick, im sick.
must have been my listening to too much heavy metal music
when i was young.
chill.

Labels: Drifts, Rants

Labels: Love, ToUgh Life

Woot.. procatination is our worst enemy, No? I have procastinated long enough and finally signed up for ABT [Abs Buns Thighs] class.. now I felt that my Monday evenings are so well spent!

I guess I have taken a few steps back and look at life in general during this time of solace. Heard of the theory of ‘Letting the universe be at work?’, that no matter what issues or circumstances we are facing, as long as we maintain a positive spirit to fight it out, the ‘thing’ will eventually be sorted out by the work of the universe.
Of cos, If you maintain a close relationship with a higher being, you would score the bonus of growing your inner being.

What I’m trying to say is, we are all okay people, leading an okay life. Don’t fret cos things will work out somehow lor. Even if you are facing death, leave a good memory behind to your love ones. Death will sucumb to a positive spirit, & of cos, Love. It has no victory over us if we choose to live our life meaningfully.

Labels: Drifts, ToUgh Life

Today I seemed to lose my bearings. Dunno how to react and which way to turn.
My patience is being squeezed dry and I have an inkling that the next person who comes annoying me will get it very hard from me.
Terror of the pms mOnster let loose.

Started my online shopping spree and it is indeed addictive.
Waiting for parcels to arrive at your door and the anticipation of tearing it open to see
what the ‘real thing’ looks like. Try it! sgspree @ Livejournal.com

Woot… Reg lent me this book ‘Why Men Love Bitches’… quite a good read, and
I finished half of the book in like 3 hours? Gals must all grab a copy.. like what it says,
Nice gals don’t win.
Bitch is someone who knows she can have her own life with or without any guy.
Not the nasty sort yah.

This is the number 10th days that we have not contacted each other.
Seemed like things are moving on :) which I hope it’s a good sign.

Labels: ToUgh Life

oh yaaaaaaaaaa~
nOticed the blogname is no lOnger sunny side up?

its been renamed to 'SEeking my Polaris'
i think more apt for what i am gOing through in everyday life now :)

enJoy tis jOurnal of my life.
may you have a great & fulfilling jOurnal too!

cheeRs

Labels: Drifts

i simply live fOr you...
having a chill out weekend, its so relaxing and ministering to the sOUl.
went Ma Masion, yes after a long lag of visit, the handsome waiter is still there!
we spent abt $200 there over escargot, scallops, main courses, red wine.. woot!
thanks Reg babe.

gOing to a healing service on sunday, for Angel's slip disc.
no matter what, itS best to still commit unto the Higher one above,
we humanz are so shOrt sighted at times.
I'm glad he initiated to go for it..

watched the korean show on Love Guru.. a whole load of crap~
but it was quite funny at some parts. i think love is stil honesty..
dont pull all thOse tricks, and mind-fiaking games..
Love is simple n wOnderful to begin with.
i have decided the way i deal w arguments at times is quite self-centred..
my pride n emotions reigned over everything..
but at the same time, i need someone who really understands this trait of me
and take me as i am.. gimme time and i will be able to get over the
short temper fUse. trapped me in a corner and i will lashed back
in double pOrtion. thats the scary scorpiO sting.
but fret not.. this is only dished out to my clOsest one...
poor bfs.. haha

thanks for givng me the space i need.. it makes me look a little deeper,
see a little bit clearer into my own reflectiOn.

you are a sOulmate in my times of silence..

Labels: Drifts, Food, Friends, ToUgh Life

how crazy is this.

An sms exchange yesterday night with an ex vendor goes something like this:

Him: 'will you marry me please?.... i really love you'
Me: 'haha.. no.'

Him: 'i am a big man, got a house n dogs, pls consider..'
Me: no la...

Him: 'ok, i wil ask you again until you say yes. i love you'
Me: ......

if he drunk?

Labels: Friends, ToUgh Life

Labels: Holidayz, ToUgh Life, wOrk

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cried
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
is made up on your side
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you..

>a nice sONg by Avril Lavaign..

Follow the notes upon a journey
At first sight marks ones' destiny
Once the voyage comes to an end
~Return lies within hasty keys~


想问为什么
我不再是你的快乐

可是为什么
却苦笑说我都懂了

Labels: Drifts, Love

Good hair day today. I used Loreal’s anti frizz while my hair is semi-wet.
Got people say I look like doll..
Went for Mos burger lunch w Nat.. and we had a great time catching up as well.
Bought handphone pouch + a babydoll top [black colour again, haiz].

Hmm seemed like the seconday sch gathering tomorrow is perking me up.
Brian even msn me [yes, after added me for 2 weeks, first time he msn me]
and made sure that I will be going.
I cant imagine.. people whom you have more met for more than a decade,
finally meeting and catching up in a nice little cosy resturant!
I do hope it will turn out fine, and not having people pretending to rush off right after the meal.
Some are my boat quay khakis many years back…
and we cried, laughed, made jokes out of each other.
How time flies and left its traces on many of us..
our life is more than hectic now as we scramble to fulfil each priority & commitment.
This is such a rare chance.
Yes, I do miss the crappy sec school life, where we hang out at JE entertainment centre, Shopping malls, movie theatres [capitol], fast food resturant, Seoul garden… and what not.
People envied me for I seemed to have lotsa friends all over the levels and from different classes. But my greatest regret, is not keeping in touch with them guys..
on the pretense that im getting too busy with life.
Pursing my degree in australia, and then work, and then church..

Thinking back, I do have opportunity to get in touch with these friends,
but I didn’t treasure them. Now, I feel so old.
Oh well, Brian commented that it was because of wanting to look at my recent photos
that he joined Friendster. And …
he said I have become prettier.
Haha.. old flame who used to cut Prata nicely for me, praised me.
Happy. :)

Labels: Drifts, Friends, ToUgh Life

Labels: Friends, ToUgh Life, wOrk

Yipee I got sunflowers in the office yesterday.
Nah, I no longer gushed like little gals, but truly appreciate the heart n thoughtfulness
that was behind this gesture to brighten up my work week + sickness.
Hmm.. its so weird, today I felt better already, no cough since morning.
The power of love? Or faith?

Spent hours yesterday night to select songs and transfer to my ipod.
Im such a music junkie that I cannot live without music,
and I will willingly sacrifice hours to sit infront of my lappie and go through albums n albums
of songs to select those that I wil like. Hmm well.. too bad my ipod is only 2G la…
I cannot afford to dump everything inside.
Currently in the playlist are UK top 40 singles, music to get me going when im restless;
Ah mei, Eason, Jolin, Jay, Secret soundtrack, Lee Hom, Yong er, Zhang zhen yue, JJ, Bon Jovi, Andy Lau… music to get me going when im feeling sentimental/emo.

Looking forward to the class gathering this fri, at far east.
Omg, I don’t even know what or where is Hop Nob Café
even though it sounds freaking familiar.
I have been a hermit for too long?

Sometimes, I do feel like giving up on blogging.
After thinking about it; I realised the main purpose of this blog is
to give me an outlet to write. I just realised… I hv kept so many
diaries, little notes of reflections throughout my life.
And the writing genes, desire is within me.
I will die if I don’t write something, anything.
Thank you blogspot :)

Labels: Drifts, Friends, Music

Let me see… the past 2 months, I had cancelled appointments on the day itself due to extreme fatigue, and sickness. I think this is not a good sign.

My last quarter of 2007 resolutions:

Be Healthy!
Sign up for Amore fitness package by Sept. Must keep fit.
Check with Medical Hall what to eat to build up my body. Must tiao yang tiao yang.

I think girls are the weaker sex in terms of health, and because we have the child
Bearing responsibility, we must really keep a balance lifestyle. Hmm.. I think as I talked
To friends over the msn.. I realised many of them are going through problems..
Jimy also went through 2 times of LASIK.. and might be going for another one.
R study loans issues are giving her a hard time..
Col just recovered from dengue..
Ohhh… I went for an interview w NVPC.. a non profit org.
There was a panel of 3 ladies.
Hmm.. it went normal, didn’t get a chance to talk much cos one of them keep yakking.
So I don’t think the chances are high.
Anyway im currently getting busier, and am quite comfy here.
Too lazy to move.

None of us are living a life that is a bed of roses.
So, I must tell myself to stop lamenting,,
Get my ass up and make some changes.

Labels: ToUgh Life, wOrk

Aiyo.. got colleague kana dengue.. MC for a week liao.
Hmm when is my flu recovering?
Nonetheless, have to attend company’s Bowling event tonight…
cos Mr CEO is here. Everyone has to give face ma.

My lesbo friend got single recently. And she has been asking me out for lunch.
Imagine travelling all the way from Thomson to Jurong, to eat lunch for an hour,
Then travel back to Thomson. Hmm…
but I already very straight off reject any propects of becoming an item with her.
Even part time.. I also say NO NO.

Scared of complicating relationships again. Im a simple person lor..
just one person to love im very happy already.
One thing that has been filling up my brain these days is:
Less is More.

Agenda coming up:
Bowling event
ISO Audit
Chalet - friend birthday
Niece birthday celebration
Church class
Unit gathering
Sec sch friend gathering
Sister birthday celebration
Bible conferences
Shanghai Trip

I need a break to just do nothing.

Labels: Friends, ToUgh Life, wOrk

Erm... on a materialistic note, the vainpot in me decided to endure the pain,
and went to do eyebrow embroidery... spent $198! Got back some pain... and of cos
a pair of nicely drawn brows [luckily not auntie looking] haha...
i have always envied people with arch brows.
i was born with 'Yi Zhi Mei' [straight one stroke brows]... and im tired of looking at it,
trying to draw an arch hopelessly everytime.
Now everywhere i go, i start to beow people's eyebrow.. checking out
to see if its natural or embroided or planted.
The creative brows [planted ones] cost 1000+ a pair. No Kidding ok!

Then i discover, my threshold for pain isnt that very high.
Bye bye to plastic surgery.

Labels: Rants, ToUgh Life

Told ya, told ya, rest will do me good! Took half a day on fri, and rested on sun.
ya, sat is the usual packed one. And viola.. PMS came. Cramp until I cry…
but then.. everything is under control now.

Kuku gave me 2 solutions when I told him I need to buy ‘bread’ during lunch time
[bread = pad].
one is, go toilet and take 40 segments of toilet paper and fold them paitently...
then stick double sided tape at the bottom and ...
Number 2, Col A eats bread everyday during lunch... ask him if he want strawberry jam.. then I can do him the favor.

So I replied, ya, why not I throw in free watermelon juice as well??
Can faint.

Labels: Friends, ToUgh Life, wOrk

i think i'm in love with you :D

Labels: Love

Something i read in a book that anyone will find it useful... haha
ways to getting a man's lasting attraction is NOT to do the below:

Here are some examples of neediness and insecurity:

• Hanging on a man or touching him too much,
especially in public. If you are constantly taking the
initiative to be in physical contact with a man, he’ll
eventually take it as clingy behavior. Instead, if you
want to touch him, save it for short and infrequent
moments that will surprise and enchant him.

• Talking or saying negative things about other
women. When women call other women names like
‘slut’, ‘bitch’, or ‘crazy’, it doesn’t impress a man. Lots
of women often do this when they see a good looking
and attractive woman, or with women they know their
guy is attracted to. Guys aren’t impressed by this.
They’ll think you’re just covering up your own
insecurities and looking for validation and attention.

• Talking or saying all kinds of nasty things about
your past boyfriends and past relationships.
Doing this reflects on you more negatively than you
might think. It also makes a man think you’re
insecure and that you have “baggage.” All this spells
ISSUES from past relationships that he knows will be
a pain for him to deal with.

• Acting overly emotional. If a man sees that you get
rattled, upset, or frustrated too easily, he’ll see you as
insecure and think that you’ll do this to him as well—
which will scare him away from you.

• Trying too hard for attention is a turn-off. When
women try to act too sexy, too funny, too cool, or too
smart, they end up looking stupid and men will think
they’re uncomfortable with who they are. Don’t do it.
If you’re any of these things, he’ll notice you in a
negative way. The best way to get noticed is to be
subtle and suggestive.

• Creating drama. This is the absolute worst thing to
do. Some women feel like they need to turn a simple
point into something big and important. They go
about this by arguing about it or turning the
discussion into a conflict. Clearly it says to a man that
you’re insecure if you get off balance with the little
things. You might be right, but it’s damaging to your
love life and the degree of comfort he has with you.
Men hate intense drama, and they instantly assume
that’s what a relationship with you would be filled
with it.

Well done!!

Labels: Love

Labels: Food, Movies, ToUgh Life

Labels: Church, Drifts, ToUgh Life

Life is never hunky dory after all… I just didnt expect so many bad things to happen in a mth!

Ji got into a bad car crashed with a bus, his precious Mazda 6 will be camping in the workshop for 2 weeks…

I had a disagreement with a close friend in church.. and start to really see things in a new perspective. Its important to choose our respond to things, not to over react and not to heap manipulative expression at people, hoping to self victimise yourself? Letting your imagination run wild, side track with accusations you dream up of.. covering them up in the pretense of having a ‘confrontational style’? Another classic example of Vicky. Im no saint… but I present my facts with truth with no malice. And I leave the judgement to the higher being. I shall not fall into the trap of being argumentative; I seek peace and continue to trust that god will work things out.

A customer passed away 2 days after giving birth, due to a blood clot in her brain, and doctor decided to cut her lifeline. Bizzare.

Yupz.. planning for a trip to HK. And should I apply for the PR?
Motivation is important in life.. that something to look forward to, rather than end up dealing with toil of life. Who knows what will happen next?

Labels: Drifts, Friends, ToUgh Life

I really got a shock. An ex col who left in april.. my lunch khaki.. same age as me.
She wanted to meet up for lunch but always had something on.
Then she msn me.. say she diagnosed with Lukaemia… already on chemo therapy and lost all her hair… I was damn shocked. She say her husband took leave n stayed w her in hospital… 2 weeks liao.

Really shocking… im speechless man. Very sad… she had plans to set up her own biz, hv kids.. etc.. barely 3 mths after she quit.. life dealt her with this blow. She doesnt know.. if she will die. And when will she die. When i heard that.. i really teared.

What pastor say is right… don’t look at things that are temporal n will pass away… look at things that are of eternal value. Our current life will surely pass away. Start investing your life in something permanent today.. make a difference in someone else's life. what kind of legacy will you leave on?

Labels: Drifts, Friends, ToUgh Life

Some nOt so great discoveries...


Dadda old already... we celebrated his 61st birthday last week.


i hate taking medicine.. the nausea feeling i get when i tried to swallow everything..


Life when i was a slOth, passes by so quickly... i can sleep for hours n never get anything accomplished.

i like to be alone. left alone and contemplate the past, the present, the future. but after all the contemplation... do i arrive at anything at all? Reached the bottle neck again. once again, i have to move forward.. whether i like it ornot. i dont like being pressurised in a certain way, and my nose wil cringed by reflex..

Need to get away.. yup a breathe of fresh air. :)

是不是一直说不在乎，就真的会不在乎。

放下一切，放得开吗？

我就像搁浅在空中的风筝,

是时后，作决定了吧。。

Labels: Drifts, ToUgh Life

tiRed. sick of it.

... HELP me.

Labels: Rants, ToUgh Life

Labels: LASIK 2007, Rants

The out of action in blogging usually means:
1. im home late and had not enough time to sleep, let alone blog
2. my mood swing is at its ultimate again
3. i'm thinking deep thoughts these days

the problem with me. Is that I don’t count my blessings.
I have decided that I don’t want to be unhappy
As best as I can, I do not want to be affected by other people’s mood swings and attitude of handling things.
My happiness is definitely not at their mercy.

And, when I set my heart on something, pls do it despite risk.
Everything in life involved risk
And being able to achieve things I thought I never will does too.
I don’t want a mediocre life.

So what if I need go at it a few more times to get the result I want?
At least, I don’t labour in vain
I want to grow up stronger.. maturity is important.
Don’t behave like a child anymore.

Movie watch:
Transformers -
Robots in disguise~ entertaining, fun, super cool effects.
i love both the Autobots and Decepticons.
Both requires imagination and vision from the artist
4 stars from me.
Hail Spielberg, Hail Michael Bay!

Labels: Drifts, Movies, ToUgh Life

my tattoo... :) how i wished it was permanent.

tired. of running around in circles. is this decision making time? i really want to procrastinate as long as possible. i'm terribly confused. arGh.

Scalded my hand on wednesday... very painful and now there is a red mark.
its hell of itchy and my mum told me that its healing. hope there will be no disfiguration
sighz... another bad omen.



Had a great time eating swensons ice cream n fries today.
although the service was damn lousy, and we were treated 'rudely'.
can u imagine we were the ones smiling and saying 'thanks'
to a black-papaya faced male waiter?
we waited so long for our food, and no one bother to attend to us!
i didnt fail to leave my feedback on the comment card.
I'm beginning to learn not to let surroundings affect my mood.
I was still able to enjoy this meal and it was great company :)



talked to my friend about guy's generousity... and we had a great laugh
over our own experiences. i think i wanna thank all the guys in my life,
they have been pretty generous & helpful to me in one way or another.
for those stingy/selfish ones.. i cant remember,
but im usually not too bothered by them.
Life is short ma.

Labels: Food, Friends, Rants

The verdict for my lasik…
I had to go for a Wavefront lasik ops [a more advance technology] for my left eye to correct the cornea unevenness. The nurse wanted to charged me $50 for the eye review yesterday and I told her over my dead body. The doc wanted me to come back to see how my eye is doing, but nothing has improved, and I made a trip down just to be charged $50?!
I had to do the enhancement cos the surgery had failed, not cos I wanted to have near perfect vision! Are you crazy or you had your pupils dilated too? Anyway, the review charges was wavied by a senior nurse.

The bad news is that I have to pay $200 for the wavefront enhancement ops for some medical diskette shite. It only takes 2 days to recover. As compared to the Standard Lasik ops, which will take me 5 days of tearing n pain as they have to put a contact lens inside to hold the flap.

The good news is, I might get to have clear vision for my left eye if this goes well.. &.. more than 1 person offered to pay for the medical fee. I guess I feel loved :)

Need to think of when to book the appointment now.. as my work is piling up,
HELP.

Labels: LASIK 2007, ToUgh Life

I swear that I will never buy a Creative Product again. Not Ever again.
Bought a brand new 5G MP3 player – Movu during their sale.. Not the refurbished one, mind you. When I brought it home, it can’t charged up. Took a cab down, and they do a 1 to 1 exchange for me.

Then after using the Unit for ONE time, I had to charge it.
AGAIN, the unit die on me. Nothing on the screen or whatsoever, it just died.
I went back a 2nd time, this time they asked me to wait for another 1 hour, which I didn’t wait, I asked them to give me a one to one exchange. And the guy say no, he has to make sure that the unit is faulty. I told him to try charging it on the spot, he will know, but he insist that he need to do a thorough check. So I went off and I told him I’m not going to wait. He can despatched a new unit to me instead.

I left the building. And guess what? He called me after 15 mins and told me that they will do a 1 to 1 exchange for me, but from they are only left with PINK units now. And he had the cheek to ask me to go back and get it. I told him that I have already left the place, & i asked him to send desptach to my house cos I’m not going back there again! And I told him to check the new unit properly, make sure it is working and charging well. I’m so so turned off by Creative.

From what I gather, a lot of people have this notion that Creative products have quality issues, especially their MP3 players. So may I just asked, have they tried to do anything about it yet?! No point marketing it as on par with Ipod, the product design will not satisfy music freaks, if it doesn’t produce music! The product has to first do what its supposed to do best. You say correct or not?

Now I really know what it feels like to spend money and get tortured instead.
From now on, I will stick to my 2G Ipod Nano!

Labels: Gadgets, Rants

we wish all these will not end.
we wish.

if i open my heart again, im hoping that you will be there for me in the end.

Movie Watch:

Ocean's Thirteen.
I have to shamlessly confessed that i watched the movie purely bcos of Mr Pitt.
and he delivered what was expected of him.
Even Danny Ocean was great in his style.
well, this show deserves a 3 star rating. all for Rusty & Ocean.
the plot is diluted, and the humour contained.
i guess, apart from the sugar coating star line up,
i would rather watch Wild Hogs anytime!! :)
I LOVE TROVOLTA.

Labels: Drifts

yeah tgif.

I feel good. I feel like I can laugh with the world. Though I think at times im afraid to enjoy uplifted moment as im terribly afraid of the bitter disappointment that I will feel when I come crushing down. But I start to recognize that I’m a like wave, there will bound to be ups and downs.. I just have to take extra precaution not to dwell too long in the down. Heh.

I’m like raring to go.. waiting for something to happen, the big bang, there will be times of insecurity.. but I was told that as long as im faithful with the little things, and be who I am, things will fall into place sooner or later. Yes they have to.

R’s grandma passed away. And the dumpling festival is here again. My mum don’t make any more delicious dumplings since the death of my grandma. We missed the home made ones so much, and no matter where they buy the presumably nice & famous dumplings. They cant be compared to the home made ones. Some traditions will die sooner or later.. I don’t think any of us picked up the skill from her. My long time friend has also been complaining that I haven’t been giving home made dumplings. I guess I never will.

just a random photo, i like to look @ nice things ;p

Labels: Drifts, Food

had less than 5 hrs of sleep yesterday.
haiz.. the zzz monster is really catching on me right now. lUnch tOpic was on Korea... korean guys to be exact. ;p as my Korean colleague wil be heading back to Korea for a break in Sept.
We gals jOkingly ask him to bring back Bae yong Jun for us, and the guys requested for Goong princess. so the toPic naturally diverted to the good looking guys n guys in korean dramas.


here's my pick: Won Bin!!!!

so handsome!!... another sexy pic:

bring him home? anytimE~!

Movie watch:

F4 [not the taiwan pop grp] and The Rising of the Silver Surfer. Silver Surfer is damn cool... very cool... i like him. cos.. errr... he is damn cool~! enjoyed the light hearted show and well.. like they always say when your expectations are not set too high, they are always being meet! :)Thanks maid, for getting the tics.

Dinner is lousy cos Vivo is overcrowded as usual. and its hard to find a place without a queue.. you know how i hated crowd, they always gimme a headache, and a cranky mood. Nonetheless, the movie cheered me up and im happy once again.

The tOpic in the car somehow drifted back to marriage. well.. i dont really care about what 07 07 07, or 08 08 08, or 09 09 09... its just another date and i dont wanna be scrambling for the so called 'auspicious' marriage dates with the others.

Now, im dreaming of a getaway marriage. Probably in a nice little chapel in Europe.. and just a simple 'yes i do..' I just dunno when ;p

Labels: Friends, Love, Movies

Labels: Church, Drifts, Friends

I know that a part of me deep down is still full of anguish.
Waiting to lash out at this life,
And inconsiderate people who unknowingly stepped on the trigger of the gear
I seethed with frustrations
Life experiences have taught me valuable lessons...
Something within me has tamed.. I could no longer handle outbursts..
What took over is just silent imploding of my heart

This teary eyed, red nose, husky voice, pale face state is really taking over me.
I is drowsy.

Thanks for bringing me to the doc..
its like giving me charcoal in the midst of winter.
Appreciate it.

Labels: Drifts, Friends, Rants

Labels: Drifts, Friends, PaRtyz

my favourite Song of the moment.. 我怀念的。

没有你在我身边。。。我想我一定快乐不起来。

wenta watch Shrek 3.
what a disappointment! the storyline is lousy.. and the jOkes are not that funny..
plUs shrek has lost his magical touch of sincerity n lovableness...
i think withOut Donkey & the rest of the side kickz [gingerbread man & company],
the wholeshow would have been a flOp :(

its was a bOring time.. i had to contain that within myself
dont want to hurt anyone's feeling. I have my fears.. of whats
going to come in future.

having karaoke session with my crappy bunch of colleagues tmr night...
hOpe it will not be disappointing. and hOpe they dont get so drUnk that they
can even hold the mike properly lor. *crOssing my fingers* ;p

Labels: Friends, Movies, Music

Labels: Rants, wOrk

Labels: Holidayz

am i good enOugh?
am i ever good enough?
am i even good enough for this life?

this day.. when your security line broke..
you crushed out of your normal positive self
and you continue to choose to get welled up in the self-pity trap.
your life.. spinning in circles.. blurring
swallowing you up.
you, standing at the brink..
decides that there is nothing you can do;
except to walk away.

why are you downcast O' my soul...?

Labels: Drifts, ToUgh Life

Labels: Drifts, Holidayz, Movies

Lunch mates has increased to 5, 6, 7 people recently.
And today there are 9 people altogether.
Seriously I stil don’t fancy a big crowd w superficial relationship…
I guess im not that good at putting up a PR show.

I been clearing some old emails lately.. and I really miss the times I had at my last company. The people and friends I made there are simply great & enjoyable folks to be with. We stil keep in contact though meet up is restricted to once a month, or even less.
These people have spent countless moment of stress, fun, laughter and tears with me.
I really miss them.. you know who you are!

Is it time to move on already? I really hope to change industry.
This place is too good for marriage + family planning, its not my cup of tea.

p/s: did you hear the news about the tornado across kallang river today? Amazing.
I hope that before anything happens to Singapore island.. [could it be due to the fact that the people in white has been getting too tyranny lately?]
we can be on talking terms again. Chill.

Labels: Friends, wOrk

LOVE has its own time, season and reason.
You can't ask for it to stay.
You can only embrace it when it comes.
And be glad that for a moment in your life, it was YOURS.

for a moment in my fleeting imagination, i thought things gonna turn
out differently.

Alas, it wasn’t to be so.

Some people grabbed so hard at things in their life.. and refused to let go.
They start blaming people for all that had happened..
And waste their energy to conjour ideas and imagination in their
minds of how to get even.
They screamed ‘Because of what you have done to me that ended me in this state!’
We call these people Vicky.. because they like to self victimised.

Some people prefer to take responsibility for their own actions.
Whatever that doesn’t go right, they take the effort to correct them
And do better next time.
They don’t wasn’t time scheming against other people.
Human stress is really overwhelming, lets not kill each other over trival.
We call these people, Happy go Lucky.

Book Read:
Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
Catch Him & Keep Him by Chris Carter

I simply love to explore more about my inner self.

Labels: Drifts, Rants

We had the real naughty ones.. like the one in red below.. he likes to call people names, including stupid, da bian, and i often scold him. i think he is looking for attention all the time. this is game playing time where the gals are pit against the boys... and gals are always more organised and always win them hands down! gal power.

yes.. you can guess as much. in the end i was dog tired after 2 hours of looking after them.. and you can pretty imagine me lying motionlessly on the floor as well!

GOOD EXPERIENCE... ANY VOLUNTEERS?

Labels: Church, Drifts, Food